Blackout
by King Baka
Summary: A night of celebration yields life-altering consequences for Inuyasha and Kagome. Can they weather the storm, or will the consequences of their actions prove too much to handle?
1. Blackout: Anatomy of a Lost Evening

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I'm just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I've created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.

A/N – Hello, everyone! It's been quite a while since I wrote a major project. But I got to thinking about how in all of my previous works, Inuyasha and Kagome only have sex after their feelings are realized and revealed. But sex doesn't always happen that way. Teenagers are prone to irresponsibility and lapses of judgment. And let's face it, even though Inuyasha is apparently many years older than Kagome, physically and emotionally both of them _are_ teenagers.

As to the setting, this story is written as a divergence from the anime/manga. It takes place soon after Naraku's defeat at the hands of Inuyasha and his Red Tetsusaiga. So the Band of Seven arc has not yet taken place, and Kikyou has not been saved by Kagome's healing touch. She is still wandering the earth, bound to her artificial body by hatred and bitterness. Inuyasha and Kagome have grown closer in their time together, but they are not nearly as close as later in the canon. All of that, however, is about to change in a way that neither expected. Enjoy!

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_~Blackout~_

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Blackout: Anatomy of a Lost Evening

Inuyasha sat up with a groan, and immediately regretted it. His head was pounding, his temples throbbing angrily. Either a giant oni was bashing his skull repeatedly with a rock, or there were a thousand tiny Sesshoumaru whacking his brain with miniature Tokijin. Or he was just hung over.

He would guess the latter, considering the residue of alcohol he could still taste on his breath. But since he had never been hung over before, he wasn't sure what to expect. He opened his eyes to gather his bearings, but quickly slammed them shut again. Even inside this strange room he was in, with the mat covering the door, the morning light was still entirely too bright. His poor retinas screamed as if they'd been scorched, but his tear ducts lacked any spare moisture to generate tears. His throat was parched as well, and he knew the first order of business once he rose would be to find something to drink. Something without alcohol in it. His stomach churned at the thought of drinking any more of _that_ stuff, though thankfully he felt no urge to vomit. As his memories of the previous evening came back to him, he began to piece together exactly how he had wound up in this sorry state.

It had started out ordinarily enough, with him and his friends rescuing a damsel in distress from the clutches of some rogue youkai or another. It just so happened, however, that this damsel was the only child of the wealthiest man in one of the largest and richest human settlements he had ever come across. Their exceedingly grateful host had thrown them a rather lavish celebration, complete with musicians, serving girls, and plenty of sake. Inuyasha had wanted to refuse the invitation, but Miroku was inside and flirting with the serving girls before he could get the words out of his mouth. Then they were stuck, especially because Kagome cared more about propriety than he did and didn't want to be rude to their host. Judging by how Sango had been fuming by that point, she'd just wanted to make sure Miroku didn't get into too much trouble.

"We'll just stay at the party for a little bit, and then go to bed," Kagome had whispered to him. "You don't even have to drink if you don't want to."

He might have laughed at that thread of memory if he didn't feel so miserable. If only he had taken her advice. But then, Kagome hadn't exactly taken her _own_ advice, either. Their host had been so keen to give them a toast, and had seemed so dejected when Kagome initially refused to drink, that she caved without too much of a fight. And when she picked up the sake cup and turned to him with a wry smile, what did she say?

"Well, I guess one little drink won't hurt, right?"

This time he did laugh, and again, immediately regretted it. The sound of his own voice sent a fresh shockwave of pain through his head, even though his ears had already been plastered to his skull. He couldn't even stand the sound of his own heartbeat right now, and was desperately trying to avoid breathing through his nose. Add scent to the list of hanyou senses he really didn't want right now, and his overloaded brain might explode. If there was ever a time to be rendered human, it was now.

But the Kami showed him no such mercy, just as they had shown him no mercy last night by not making hanyou alcohol-resistant. He was resilient against many things; stick a sword though his belly, and he'd pull it out and laugh at you. Try to get him with smoke or miasma, and you'd be dead long before he even had to cough. But alcohol…alcohol kicked his ass. There was just something about the stuff that slipped past his youkai defenses and hammered him like any average mortal. He would liken it to ink or other extremely smelly substances, but those affected him _because_ he was part-youkai, not in spite of it. Alcohol was probably unique in this regard. Maybe part of the problem was how little he had been exposed to it in the past. From what he could gather, people who drank more often built up a tolerance to it.

Tolerance be damned. After last night, he was _never_ drinking again. The next time someone tried to give him a jug of sake, he was going to shove it where the sun don't shine. If only that had been his attitude the previous evening…but _no_, he just had to have a couple cups because Kagome asked him to. And then he just _had_ to accept when the host's younger brother challenged him to a drinking contest. A 'mighty hanyou' couldn't back down from such a challenge, especially when Kagome and the others were watching. So even though he could already feel the alcohol getting to him, and even though he knew he was going to make a fool of himself, he still went drink-for-drink with the guy. And won. He had felt on top of the world, though perhaps that was because he'd been doing a victory dance on top of the table. As much fun as he'd been having at the time, he was not enjoying the fruits of his victory very much now.

In short, he was an idiot. And now he was paying for it. He wanted to lie back down, but didn't dare. He was in a strange place, and needed to get up and make sure Kagome and the others were okay. He didn't even remember if they'd gotten drunk or not. His memories of last night were fuzzy, and at a certain point they cut out altogether. He had probably passed out shortly after winning the drinking contest and been dragged here to sleep it off. If a little harmless teasing was the worst that came of this, he would be happy. Hopefully nothing bad had happened to his companions while he had been too inebriated to protect them. He trusted his friends, but people did stupid things when they were drunk. His rogue mind conjured possibilities which made him grit his teeth. If someone had taken advantage of Kagome in some way, that person would be lucky to make it to midday with his cock attached. Sango would take care of that herself if she was the victim, and Miroku was far more likely to be on the 'giving' end of dubious-consent drunken sex. If the monk had somehow managed to get the slayer in bed, then Inuyasha was _sure_ he would be minus a cock within two minutes of Sango's awakening. But Kagome wasn't like Sango. If something had happened to her…he didn't want to think about it.

And so, because he suddenly found himself very concerned about Kagome's well-being, Inuyasha forced himself to rise into a full sitting position. His body protested, and it took several moments of holding his temples to get his head to stop spinning. Finally, he was able to blearily blink his eyes open and tentatively raise his ears to listen to his surroundings. He was in a single, medium-sized room, which appeared to be part of a larger complex. Most likely, this was one of many guest rooms in the rich man's home, clustered around a central courtyard. On either side he could hear people snoring in adjacent rooms. It would be as good a place as any to start searching for his missing companions.

He was about to start the arduous process of rising to his feet when a flash of crimson caught the corner of his eye. It was a clump of fabric crumpled into a ball where it had been haphazardly discarded. In fact, it looked suspiciously like his—

Inuyasha looked down at himself and nearly choked. Why the hell was he naked?! He quickly scrambled on hands and knees toward his hakama, which he slid on and fastened without bothering to look for his fundoshi first. Walking around sans undergarments was the least of his worries right now. His head was spinning again, and now he was genuinely concerned about what _he_ might have done last night after his memory cut out. If some poor girl woke up and realized that she slept with a hanyou…that was the sort of thing that could ruin a girl's life in most villages. Not to mention the fact that Kagome would 'osuwari' him straight to hell; he'd spend about a week climbing out of the crater. Silently praying to every Kami he knew, he slowly turned back to face the futon he'd been sleeping in.

Why did the Kami never listen to him? Sure enough, there was a girl in his bed, naked judging by the extent of her bare back revealed by the sheet. Yep, Kagome was going to kill him. On principal alone, he was going to have to castrate himself. Unless of course Kagome did it for him. And depending on what this girl said about how exactly how they'd come to lie together last night, that seemed like a startlingly likely possibility. He was not optimistic that she'd be understanding and admit to 'mutual mistake.' She'd probably cry rape to lessen the shame upon herself for sleeping with a hanyou. He could only hope that Kagome and the others would believe him. Nobody in the village would. Hopefully the girl would stay asleep long enough for him to gather his companions and make a quiet exit.

She chose that moment to stir, and Inuyasha held his breath. But she only shifted slightly before settling down, somehow managing to slide the sheet even lower so the top of the crack of her backside was visible. Inuyasha allowed himself a moment to peruse her form, then looked away. She was very attractive, with a shapely body and long, raven hair that would probably be very pretty when it wasn't so matted and tangled by nightly activities. A normal human male would be thrilled to wake up next to such a beauty, even if she was a total stranger. It would be something to brag about with close friends. But hanyou were not permitted to enjoy such things. He was lucky to have one male friend, and he could certainly not expect the girl's reaction to be mere upset over her night of irresponsibility. No, this girl would scream to high heaven and bring the wrath of an angry village down upon him. It was time to go. As soon as he found his haori and kosode.

Find them he did, in the opposite corner of the room. He tip-toed past the sleeping girl on shaky legs, gathering up his clothing—and Tetsusaiga—before turning to sneak past her and out the door. He would finish dressing outside, where the rustling of his garments was less likely to wake her. After a brief mental debate, he allowed himself a glance at her face, wanting to know what she looked like at least.

And just like that, Inuyasha's entire world came crashing down around him.

This couldn't be. It wasn't possible. It was totally, completely, utterly _impossible_. But unless his eyes were lying to him, the impossible had become reality. Unless his mind was playing tricks on him, and he was somehow projecting the girl whose face he had memorized down to the finest detail onto someone else… He was running around in circles, chasing his own tail with these denials. There was one very simple way to know for sure, as much as he dreaded it. So he gritted his teeth and breathed slowly and deeply through his nose.

A veritable explosion of scent buffeted him, a cacophony of olfactory information which caused his head to throb with renewed vigor. But though his nasal passages burned and the tiny abusive Sesshoumaru were back inside his skull, there was no denying what he smelled. Four scents in particular stood out to him: the girl, sweat, blood, and most damningly, sex. Just because he had never had sex before did not mean he was unfamiliar with its very particular aroma, produced by the various associated bodily fluids and secretions. Sex had definitely occurred in this room very recently…on that futon…with that girl… And judging by how his own body smelled upon closer inspection, combined with their sleeping arrangements and lack of clothing…Inuyasha had a feeling he knew exactly who her partner had been last night.

In that moment, there was only one word to sum up precisely how Inuyasha felt about this revelation, one singular syllable which could encompass the totality of his emotions in all of their nuanced intricacy.

"Shit."

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A/N – Isn't "shit" a great word? Especially when you're too hung over to think of anything more sophisticated. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has been where Inuyasha (or Kagome) is at one time or another. We feel your pain.

I don't really have much of a basis for my theory that Inuyasha is not alcohol-resistant. I remember there was an anime episode where he got tipsy, if not drunk. Not sure if that was canon or one of those "anime-only" episodes. At any rate, I don't think it's too much of a stretch, especially because he has built up absolutely no tolerance for the stuff.


	2. Morning-After Anxiety

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I'm just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I've created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.

A/N – I did some research (or rather, Splendentgoddess helpfully reminded me), and it turns out that Inuyasha _is_ affected by alcohol in the manga. It's during chapter 486, where Sango talks to that sage guy about fixing hiraikotsu. Inuyasha gets repeatedly dunked in jars of sake and gets pretty tipsy, even though he couldn't have ingested that much of the stuff. The sake affects Shippou too, so evidently alcohol is the great equalizer between humans and youkai!

And someone asked about the length of this story. Hard for me to guess at this point, but I'm expecting maybe 20 chapters? Like _Entrapment_ length, not _Metamorphosis_ length.

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Morning-After Anxiety

The first thing Kagome became aware of as she floundered back to consciousness was the rapid pulsing of her heart. Every beat reverberated through her cranium, like a giant amplifier blasting a bassline at 150 decibels. Her involuntary groan came out as a weak cough, a consequence of a parched throat. Her mind was trapped in a haze of pain and lethargy, and she struggled to get her bearings. Through fluttering eyes she glimpsed an unfamiliar wooden wall before she was forced to shut them again by the abnormally blinding light. She could gather that she was lying on a futon in an unfamiliar room, but anything beyond that was more than she could manage. That, and the disturbing queasiness of her stomach.

Some instinct or thread of decorum drove her to seek a more appropriate place to expel the vomit she knew was coming. She rolled into an unstable crouch, the resulting dizziness causing her belly to roil even more intensely. Half walking, half crawling, she stumbled through the doorway and leaned over the edge of the wooden platform she could just barely make out through slitted, teary eyes.

What followed was misery, pure and simple. Where often times, expelling whatever was creating a disturbance in the stomach would bring some relief, by the time Kagome was finished she felt even more terrible than when she had started. Not only was her throat dry, but now it stung fiercely as well. She still could not open her eyes more than a fraction, lest her retinas set to burning. And her stomach was still rumbling as well; she had a feeling that she was not yet finished with her gastric exhumation. She certainly was not done with headache and soreness in seemingly every major muscle in her entire body.

The one thing that made this small eternity of torment bearable occurred during, when a familiar item of cloth was draped over her shoulders. Even in her cloudy mental state, she recognized Inuyasha's haori when she felt it. His action did serve to reveal that she was naked, but that only caused her to be doubly grateful for his consideration. The hesitant yet comforting stroke of his hand as it rubbed her back was also appreciated. His presence put her at some level of ease; she could at least know that she was safe, except from whatever curse was wracking her body.

His hand left her back when she stopped vomiting, but she could still sense his presence behind her. When she felt up to it, she sat back on her heels and leaned bonelessly into him. He stiffened, but made no move to withdraw. He also did not put his arm around her shoulder, as she had hoped that he would. But she would content herself with the contact he permitted, glad that he was here with her in her time of suffering. Here, with him, she could allow her mind to wander and try to figure out how she had ended up in this sorry state.

She remembered sake—far too much sake, apparently. Their host had been unusually gracious with his drink and gold, which he had used to bring together a celebration the likes of which Kagome had never seen in the feudal era before. This was probably due to a combination of many factors, among them the rescue of his only child whom he doted on constantly, the fact that he was by nature a drinker and a 'partier' by the standards of the time, and the simple fact that he could afford it. She had thought it too rude to refuse the invitation, especially when Miroku was already inside enjoying himself. She had also seen the irritated look on Sango's face and hoped, perhaps naively, that Miroku would show some restraint in the taijiya's presence. She knew Sango secretly liked the lecherous houshi. How the evening had gone for either of them, Kagome could not say. She could not even remember how her evening had ended.

What she did know, was that she had dragged Inuyasha into the party with a promise that they could stay a little while and then go to bed. Shippou and Kirara had done just that moments before, since it had already been fairly late. They were the smart ones. The dummies, i.e. the mature adults of the group, joined the celebration and were soon swept up by the festive atmosphere. Even Kagome, whose tongue had never touched a drop of alcohol in her life, found herself unable to resist that first toast. She groaned as she remembered her words, one of those incredibly foolish phrases which one looks back on later with contempt and dismay. 'One little drink' had indeed not hurt, but the unknown quantity of alcohol she had consumed later certainly did.

But why had she drunk so much in the first place? Maybe it was because Inuyasha was pounding back sake like an alcoholic after a long dry spell. Miroku and Sango were off doing their own thing, and she had been stuck carrying on an unwanted conversation with some of their host's male relatives, who were clearly interested in her uncommon looks and strange clothing. It was a difficult task trying to be polite enough not to offend, but not _too_ polite to give any of them the idea that they had any chance whatsoever of getting 'lucky' with her tonight. Adding to her stress, she had to worry about Inuyasha going into a jealous fit and causing a scene. That concern at least was unwarranted; the hanyou had quickly become so wasted that he would not have noticed if she had hopped into some stranger's lap shouting 'take me!'

Eventually her male suitors got the message and wandered off to find more enjoyable company. So Kagome was left alone, growing more annoyed by the second. Why should she be the only one at the party having no fun at all? What was she, Inuyasha's personal chaperone? Her rising temper caused her to do something foolish. All at once she downed a whole cup of sake, sidled up to one of the handsome gentlemen she had talked to previously, and started a whole new conversation. This one was decidedly more 'polite' than before, and as she became more and more inebriated, he probably thought he had a very good chance of getting laid.

Kagome gasped and sat up straight, an act which caused her head to swim and the bile to rise in the back of her throat. Thankfully she was able to keep it down this time. But of far greater concern was what she may or may not have done with any number of the interested males at the party. Dreading what the action might reveal, she shifted her weight slightly from one thigh to another. To her infinite dismay, there was a definite discomfort down there, unlike the general muscle soreness gripping the rest of her body, which was almost akin to the early onset of the flu. The ache between her legs, on the other hand, was more localized, a sharp pain from unused muscles and untouched parts of her body which had dulled over time. That, and the disquieting stickiness of her inner thighs, left no doubt as to exactly what had occurred last night.

Tears sprung to her eyes, and she struggled to avoid collapsing into a pitiful ball of sobs. That would come later, when she was alone in her room back home. She did not want to show such weakness in front of Inuyasha; she was sure he already felt terrible for allowing this to happen to her. It would be easy to blame him and their other friends for not staying with her at the party, or stopping her from getting so drunk. But she wouldn't do that either; in the end, this was her fault. She had behaved incredibly irresponsibly, and this was her punishment.

It seemed a harsh penalty. She felt empty inside, like someone had stolen something from her, something she could never get back. There was something missing now, a part of her which she had valued, how much she never realized until it was torn away from her. Maybe it was the knowledge that she was a virgin, that she had never caved to peer pressure and was saving herself for love. Maybe it was her private fantasies that one day she would give her purity to the man sitting right behind her. That was probably what hurt the most. Even if her wildest dreams came true, and she and Inuyasha married and raised a family together, she would never be able to give him her most cherished gift, the one the Kami gave her as a woman. She didn't think Inuyasha was the kind of guy to care about such a thing, not really, but both of them would always know that she in her foolishness had deprived them of a wonderful experience. Was it a blessing or a curse that she did not remember the unfortunate event? She couldn't even remember who the lucky suitor might have been; her memories of the evening stopped with her still at the party, tipping back the last dregs of a jug of sake.

For the sake of her lover—she blanched at that word—she hoped that Inuyasha was unable to either remember his identity or figure it out through scent. Though she felt violated, the man had done nothing wrong by the standards of the time. She could not hold him to the consent laws of the modern era; that wasn't part of his moral code and it would be unfair to enforce it against him. Especially when Inuyasha's brand of 'justice' would probably involve some sort of dismemberment, most likely of the body part which had violated her the most.

She spared a glance over her shoulder to gauge Inuyasha's mood, and was surprised at what she saw. She had been hoping not to have to 'osuwari' him to save the life of her lover—there was that awful word again—but that appeared to be a baseless concern. Inuyasha's head was turned away, his eyes gazing forlornly at the ground. His countenance spoke of heavy remorse and a healthy amount of self-loathing, but was astonishingly lacking in anger or desire to maim. Did he feel so guilty himself that he was letting her lov—_consort_ off the hook? That did not sound like him at all. The Inuyasha she knew let his guilt turn into rage, fueling him to a frenzy which was woe to anyone else who had wronged her. So why wasn't he contemplating the most gruesome way to kill the man who had taken her virginity last night?

She could admit that she was a little irritated by his lack of spirit. Perhaps it was shallow, but she wanted him to be pissed off. She wanted fury to be exuding from every pore in his body, even though she would not let him act on it. She almost _wanted_ to have to use the 'osuwari' command to keep him in check. At least that meant he cared. This sad, whipped puppy Inuyasha was disconcerting, like he didn't give a damn about who she slept with. Like he was only remorseful because her hangover was so bad. She was just about give voice to her displeasure when another idea occurred to her. She had woken up alone on the futon, but Inuyasha had been right there with her. So either he had already left her consort decaying in a pool of his own blood, or…

She didn't think it was possible, but her mouth became even drier. Her stomach roiled fiercely once more, bubbling with conflicting emotions. She found herself praying with her heart that the answer to her next question was 'yes,' and with her rational mind that it was 'no.'

"Inuyasha," she croaked. His eyes rose to meet hers for the first time, and she gulped at the intensity of his gaze. "Did we…did we…"

She couldn't finish. But fortunately, or unfortunately, he seemed to understand. Reluctantly, he nodded.

Kagome leaned forward and heaved what was left of her stomach onto the grass.

* * *

Inuyasha trudged along at the rear of the group, staring at the dirt road in front of him. He did not feel up to assuming his normal role as leader of the pack, physically or emotionally. His hangover was still affecting him, though thankfully its severity had subsided fairly quickly since the morning. He was still uncomfortable in his own skin, with a strong headache as the primary culprit, but at least he was not too incapacitated to walk or fight if need be. The weight of his conscience, however, had only grown worse as the day progressed. He cringed as he recalled the events of the morning.

The other four members of the group had arrived just as Kagome finished retching for the second time and collapsed into a miserable ball. Sango and Miroku took one look at them and instantly knew what had happened. If their state of dress wasn't indication enough—Inuyasha's kosode was hanging open at the front and Kagome was still clad in only his haori—the look on the hanyou's face told them everything they needed to know. Fortunately, neither had said anything, either in reproach or teasing. Both would come later, Inuyasha was sure. But Kagome's condition had at least put those inevitable conversations on hold. As for Miroku and Sango, both were slightly pale and appeared a little worse for wear, but otherwise they seemed normal. Inuyasha didn't know if anything had happened between or to either of them, and he didn't ask. He had more pressing concerns at the moment.

It absolutely killed him that there was nothing he could do for Kagome. Even when he had run to the village well and brought her water, she had drunk it too fast and wound up puking again. Afterwards they had forced her to drink more, over her protests, and she had managed to keep a little down. He was sure she was still quite dehydrated though. So was he, for that matter. But he was hanyou, and could handle it. Humans were so fragile, and dehydration could quickly become a big problem for them. He would have to be on high alert to make sure Kagome's hangover didn't develop into something worse.

She was sleeping fitfully now, which was probably the best thing for her. Sango had helped her clean up a bit and change into a fresh set of pajamas. They had wanted to let her rest at the village for the day, but Kagome was adamant that they leave immediately. The thought of remaining there for another second seemed repugnant to her. As they tried to persuade her and her temper rose, she began to border on incoherency, and none of them wished to push her over something so small. So they agreed to leave on the condition that Kagome be carried. Everyone expected her to ride on Kirara, including Inuyasha. So he was understandably shocked when Kagome instead looked to him and asked if he would carry her. She probably felt so terrible that she didn't care that the act of riding on his back should be incredibly awkward right now, for both of them.

Somehow it wasn't, at least for him. Even now, having her nestled against his back, her thighs in his hands, felt amazingly natural. He would have to savor the sensation of having her so close, because this was probably the last time it would ever happen. Once she recovered from her hangover, she would likely never permit this level of physical proximity ever again. And he wouldn't blame her. He was a dirtbag, pure and simple. He deserved whatever punishment she chose to mete out, and more. Not only had he failed to protect her from drinking herself ill, but he had violated her trust and taken her innocence. 'Taken' wasn't even a strong enough word for what he had done; he had essentially stolen her virginity like a thief in the night. And if he hadn't raped her while she was passed out, then he had almost certainly pressured her into unwanted sex when she was too drunk to refuse.

That was a very dismal way of looking at things, of course. He hoped that making such assumptions would prove rash in the end. In the best case scenario, his and Kagome's tryst had been an accident in the purest sense of the word, with no greater portion of fault to either side. He prayed that the truth was close to that extreme, rather than the opposite one. If his worst fears turned out to be valid…he didn't know what he would do. But perhaps his lack of memory was simply causing him to panic and conjure irrational thoughts. He had never believed himself capable of taking advantage of someone like that. Could alcohol magically make a person behave in such a way if he had no predispositions toward such behavior while sober? He knew the mystery surrounding the event was getting to him; he could not help but consider the possibility that deep down he was the monster everyone assumed him to be. Everyone before Kagome, that is. The beautiful girl with a bigger heart than anyone he had ever met. The pure soul he had spoiled with his drunken lust.

There was his guilty conscience running away with him again. It really would make more sense to wait and see how Kagome felt about all of this before condemning himself. But couldn't help it! His imagination would not calm until he had talked to her. He was probably reading too much into the horrified expression on her face as she realized what they had done. Did that look stem from losing her virginity in the first place, losing it to him, or just because she was about to be sick again? Afterwards, fatigue had been the primary emotion he could pick up from her. She had not seemed angry, per se, just exhausted. And despite the fact that she knew what had happened, she had still asked him to carry her. That had to mean something, right?

He sincerely hoped so. He didn't want this to be the last time he held her, her body nestled against his own creating the feeling in his heart that all was right with the world. In the quiet moments they periodically shared, he could forget about Naraku, the Shikon no Tama, and his promises to Kikyou. He could forget everything except Kagome, her face, her scent, and the knowledge that her desire to be there with him was as strong as his own to have her close. As he had told her before, he needed her by his side. 'By his side,' not merely meaning a companion on their mission, but someone who would literally stand beside him. Someone who would take on any challenge with him, support him physically and spiritually, and place more faith and trust in him than he could place in himself. And he needed the casual physical contact, the seemingly innocuous unnecessary touching that backed up her words—that she did not care if he was a hanyou, that she liked him for who he was. He trusted Kagome when she told him that, and would always keep those words close to his heart. But he had been living so long with the beliefs that had been beaten into him as a child—at times literally—that he sometimes found himself doubting the words anyway. Her touch always reminded him that Kagome was special in this regard; her heart reflected exactly what she said. No one would allow a hanyou to carry her, or embrace him out of relief, or cry for him, or do any of the hundred other things which were uniquely 'Kagome,' unless she truly and completely accepted him for who he was.

If he lost that, if he lost what made her _Kagome_…he would lose the best part of himself.

If there was one thing to regret about last night, this was it. He was not remorseful for his own sake; he did not feel like he had lost anything by having his first sexual experience be with Kagome. Who else should he have given his virginity to? Kikyou? Having sex with his former love had never been an immediate possibility. Fifty years ago, he had known better than to even entertain those thoughts until they were both human and wed. And now, even if she could physically have intercourse in her current body, she would still never lower herself to lying with a hanyou. Since he wasn't about to become human for her now, the odds of him and Kikyou ever having sex were miniscule, whether he went to hell with her or not. He could not say he was disappointed. He would have loved her in every sense of the word had they been married, but even back then he had never really viewed Kikyou as a potential sexual partner. He had not been allowed to, not by the world around them, and not by Kikyou herself.

Beyond all that, what truly shocked him was that he felt no remorse for _Kikyou's_ sake. Rationally, even though he and Kikyou were never intimate, he was promised to her and by all rights he should feel guilty for betraying her with Kagome. Only it didn't feel like betrayal. The trust between them had already been broken, in part by Kikyou's own actions both before and after her resurrection. Or perhaps it had never been strong to begin with.

So ultimately, his greatest fear—aside from being revealed as a rapist bastard—was not how Kikyou would react if she ever found out about last night. It was that he would lose Kagome, _his_ Kagome, his best friend, closest companion and greatest opponent all wrapped into one. Their relationship would surely change after this; how could it not? But if she drifted away from him, if she blamed him for this, if she realized that a filthy hanyou with nothing to his name but a rusty sword and the clothes on his back was unworthy of her affections after all… If she became like Kikyou…

He shuddered, causing the girl on his back to stir slightly. He tightened his grip on her thighs as she settled back down, drawing courage from the way she muttered his name in slumber. He resolved to do everything in his power to make sure he and Kagome did not drift apart. He would fight for her, against her if needed. If he had to get down on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness, he would damn well do it. And if things were awkward between them for a time, that would be no less than he expected. Slowly but surely, however, things would go back to close to the way they were before that fateful night. Perhaps they would even be better.

Now he was being overly optimistic, but it was much more pleasant than his earlier pessimism. He spent most of the morning and much of the afternoon brooding in silence, arguing with himself in this back-and-forth fashion. Finally, as the sun was perched about halfway between its apex and its setting place in the western skyline, Kagome lifted her head off his shoulder and groaned. Without turning around, he could picture her holding her head with a pained grimace marring her features. His ears swiftly lowered in renewed guilt.

"Kagome!" Shippou yelled as he came barreling toward them, the first of their companions to realize she was awake thanks to his youkai hearing. Kagome cringed at the volume of his shout, and Inuyasha would have bopped him if it didn't mean dislodging his fragile cargo. Shippou clambered up and perched atop his shoulder, blissfully unaware of the hanyou's ire, but thankfully he did keep his voice down from then on.

"Are you okay, Kagome?"

"A little better, Shippou-chan," Kagome responded after taking a few moments to assess her condition. "I think I might be done throwing up at least."

Inuyasha was obviously relieved to hear this; getting covered in Kagome's vomit was no less than he deserved, but he still hoped to avoid it if he could. She still sounded pretty miserable though. He imagined her head was throbbing fiercely, and he knew she was dehydrated and possibly malnourished. The last thing she had eaten that had actually stayed down had been a rather early dinner last night. Perhaps it was time to try to get her to munch on something, just to keep her strength up. She _had_ to drink fluids; there was no arguing that. He would force her to drink even if she used 'osuwari' a hundred times. Hopefully that could be avoided too. He was contemplating the best way to approach this delicate issue when the conversation turned in an unfortunate direction.

"You were asleep for a long time, Kagome," Shippou told her worriedly. "I thought you were really getting sick."

"I don't think so, Shippou-chan. This is just me recovering from all of that cursed alcohol. Plus, I guess I didn't get very much sleep last night."

Inuyasha stiffened and felt Kagome do the same. Both immediately blushed hotly, realizing how that comment could be taken by one so inclined. And unfortunately, they did know someone so inclined. Apparently now that Kagome wasn't in such bad shape, she and Inuyasha were ripe for some fully-justified teasing. But an unexpected savior came to their rescue, with a well-timed elbow under the ribs. Miroku put on a sheepish grin and shrugged. He could afford to bide his time. Sango favored both of them with a look that clearly said 'you're welcome' and changed the subject.

"Do you think you could eat something, Kagome-chan? You might feel better after you get some food in your stomach."

Much to Inuyasha's surprise, Kagome agreed easily. They paused in their trek long enough for her to down half a bottle of water and munch on a few crackers from her bag. Once she was finished, Inuyasha knelt down for her to mount up again, but she expressed a desire to 'stretch her legs.' The hanyou shrugged nonchalantly to cover his concern, hoping that the only reason for this change of heart was because Kagome felt guilty for making Miroku and Sango take turns toting her bag around. When she went to pick it up, however, he quickly snatched it from her grasp and slung if over his own shoulder. The shy smile she favored him with had him flushing all over again, and he swiftly turned away from her. He was grateful for the embarrassment, however; that smile had eased the fears of rejection which had arisen after she turned down his offer to carry her.

A few minutes later, Inuyasha found himself walking at the rear of the group with Miroku, who had drifted back to join him. Kagome and Sango strode side by side ahead of them, Shippou and Kirara perched atop their respective shoulders. Inuyasha had taken up the rear position so he could keep an eye on Kagome and make sure she wasn't wobbly on her feet, but he suspected that the bouzu had less honorable motives. An intuition confirmed when the monk opened his mouth.

"A lovely sight, is it not?" he asked quietly, grinning cheerfully with just a hint of lechery.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. He was not in the mood for this, as the bouzu found out when he received another elbow under the ribs for his trouble. After that, Miroku left him alone. This was not to say that Inuyasha disputed the man's point—Kagome and Sango walking in front of them _was_ a rather lovely sight. He would die before he admitted that aloud though. This of course did not stop him from admiring the comely vision in passing. Not staring, certainly not staring. Was it a blessing or a curse that he could not remember what Kagome looked like during carnal acts? It was not as though he had failed to appreciate how pleasing to the eye her lithe form and short skirt were before today, but now his attraction seemed stronger somehow. Another change that should come as no surprise, he supposed. There was no way in hell he was going to start behaving like the bouzu, so he figured it was nothing to worry about.

A couple hours later, as Kagome's pace slowed and her shoulders began to slump, Inuyasha called a halt. There was still some daylight left, but the 'weak humans would be no good tomorrow if they didn't get enough sleep,' as he so eloquently put it. For half a heartbeat he feared Kagome was about to 'osuwari' him for that, but she swallowed the word and looked away uncomfortably. That was a little disconcerting to him; it was proof that she was still uncertain about the status of their relationship. Normally she would use the rosary when he made a thoughtless comment like that, to remind him not to be such an ass all the time. _Some_ of the time he could admit that he deserved it.

Kagome went straight to bed after cooking up a light dinner. For once she joined Inuyasha in eating ramen, since the noodles and broth would be easy on her stomach and she didn't feel up to chancing anything more substantial yet. The result was a very quiet campsite, gripped by a subdued sort of silence. Dusk turned to night, and barely a word was spoken. The humans and kitsune found ways to keep busy, but Inuyasha merely resumed his earlier brooding. The darkness seemed to bring out his more negative emotions, his deep-seated insecurities, and his mood soured quickly. Finally he could stand it no longer. He rose and stalked out of camp, to relieve himself and perhaps vent his frustrations on a few unfortunate trees along the way.

He left a trail of scratched bark and scarred trunks in his wake, but he felt no better for it. He was almost finished emptying his bladder when he sensed a presence approaching behind him, and stifled a snarl. Briefly he considered simply bolting, but that would be the cowardly way out. No doubt the bouzu just wanted to tease him a bit. Inuyasha would put up with it now that they were alone, within reason. If Miroku pushed him too far, he would regret it.

"Whaddya want, bouzu?" he demanded impatiently, fastening his hakama and turning to face the lecherous houshi.

"Hmmm," Miroku considered, frowning in mock concentration. It was all an act, Inuyasha knew; the jackass had already come up with his first line long ago. Sometimes he hated being right.

"Well, first I suppose I should congratulate you," he replied, with a tone that Inuyasha could almost believe was serious. "Our little Inuyasha has finally become a man."

"Keh! I was already twice the man you'll ever be!"

"Not in the strictest sense, I'm afraid. Lying with a woman is something of a rite of passage for boys."

"Not for me it ain't," Inuyasha spat bitterly. "You're a moron if you think any girl would want to lie with a hanyou."

Miroku blinked, seemingly surprised by the dark turn in the conversation. His smile faded, to be replaced by an expression which was all sincerity and friendly concern. Now Inuyasha really wanted to run away. A 'heart to heart' with Miroku sounded even less appealing than being the butt of his perverted jokes.

"I must be a moron then," Miroku said quietly. Inuyasha growled in annoyance as his meaning sunk in; he couldn't believe the monk was making him explain what should be obvious!

"Kagome was drunk, you dumbass! She didn't know what she was doing. She…probably thought I was someone else."

Miroku shook his head and smiled wryly at this. "Inuyasha, your features are rather…unique. It would be difficult to confuse you with anyone else. Besides, you were just as drunk if not more so than she was. Did you imagine her to be someone else?" he asked, his voice raised slightly in genuine concern.

"No!" Inuyasha replied vehemently, sickened by the thought of using Kagome in such a way. "I mean, I don't think so. I don't really…remember what happened," he finished shamefully.

"You don't remember?" Miroku repeated. "Ah…that complicates things."

"Tell me about it."

"What do you remember?"

"I was still at the party, but then the next thing I can remember is waking up this morning next to Kagome."

"And you're absolutely certain the two of you…ah, of course, that sensitive nose of yours."

Inuyasha, whose finger had been tapping said nose meaningfully, now moved the same hand to rub the back of his neck.

"We definitely 'did it,' bouzu. No freaking doubt about that."

Miroku couldn't resist. "Well, again, I'd like to offer my most heartfelt congratu—"

"Would you shut the fuck up already?!"

"Oh, lighten up, Inuyasha. I did not come out here merely to poke fun at you. I also wished to make sure that your head was in the right place. Clearly I was right to be concerned."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, my friend, that you are looking at this all wrong. What happened last night was clearly a mistake, but it is not something you should torture yourself over. Do you honestly believe that Kagome-sama will wake up tomorrow and be angry with you?"

"She should be."

"That is her decision to make, is it not? I for one do not believe that she is upset for her own sake. I am sure she is simply worried about what this means for you and her, and how _you_ feel about it."

"Then she's a moron, too!"

Inuyasha knew he was being confrontational, but he didn't care. He could hear voices from the past, condemning him, denouncing him as unworthy of love and companionship. Why couldn't the monk just give up and leave him alone?

Miroku sighed and put his head in his hand. "It would be wise if you did not repeat that in her presence."

That sent Inuyasha over the edge. How could Miroku treat him like _he_ was being the foolish one?!

"Dammit, bouzu! Don't you fucking get it? I took her innocence! I can never give that back to her! She should hate me right now!"

Miroku gazed at him sadly, with a hint of pity. "Has Kagome-sama not given you so much already? Do you have any reason to doubt that she will regard her innocence as freely given as well?"

Inuyasha opened his mouth to retort and shut it just as swiftly. It was true, he realized; Kagome was incredibly generous. She had already given him everything he had ever asked of her, even those requests he never gave voice to. And somehow, she always forgave him no matter how he wronged her. Would this be any different?

Seeing that he was getting through to the hanyou, Miroku continued. "Look, Inuyasha. Kagome-sama…cares for you. Very much. She will not blame you for what happened, nor will it change the way she feels about you. She values your friendship too much to allow this to ruin it."

Inuyasha closed his eyes in contemplation. He wanted to believe Miroku's words, so badly. At various points in the day, he had almost believed them. But the doubts always returned, the haunting memories, the knowledge that he was unworthy of her friendship, no matter what anyone said. But Kagome didn't see things that way; her view of the world was downright bizarre. Perhaps that was why she could accept a lowly hanyou as much as she did. He wanted to believe Miroku, to trust what he thought he knew about Kagome. But faith did not come easy for him, and still he wrestled with it.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked hopefully.

"Because I know Kagome-sama," Miroku answered resolutely, without a trace of uncertainty. "And because ever since I have known the two of you, I have observed the growth of your relationship from the outside. Being in the middle of a relationship can be blinding, but watching from out here is often quite enlightening."

His words were a soothing balm over Inuyasha's heart, and the hanyou felt much of the tension ebb from his body. But there was one stubborn fear that still gripped him.

"But I don't remember what happened. What if I…you know…"

Miroku could guess what the hanyou was thinking from the devastated expression on his face, and had to forcefully suppress the desire to whack him over the head with his staff. Inuyasha had a good heart, but sometimes he was so damn foolish.

"Inuyasha," he began with forced patience, "would you take advantage of Kagome-sama in such a way if you were sober?" His only response was an appalled look from the hanyou. "Of course not. In my experience, alcohol does not make one do anything he would normally consider repugnant. Under normal circumstances, you would rather kill yourself than force Kagome-sama into anything against her will. Drinking too much alcohol would not magically turn you into a rapist."

Inuyasha could hear the frustration in Miroku's tone. _He really thinks I'm a baka for asking that question._ Maybe he was. The monk certainly had more experience with alcohol than he did. Perhaps it was okay to trust Miroku's judgment on this one, until he was proven incorrect? Finally, Inuyasha relaxed, all of the air leaving his lungs in a huge sigh. He was emotionally drained, and more than a little embarrassed by his behavior. Not to mention grateful to Miroku, who had gone above and beyond the bounds of friendship to talk some sense into a stubborn hanyou.

"Besides," the monk stated in an amused tone that had Inuyasha tensing all over again. "Kagome-sama was probably just as into the act as you were."

As if hearing Miroku make that statement wasn't shocking enough, he delivered it without any indication that he was joking. But he couldn't possibly be serious…could he?

"K-Kagome's not like that!"

"Like what? There is nothing wrong with sexual desire, Inuyasha. Kagome-sama may seem innocent, and in many ways she is. But she is also a rapidly maturing young woman. Trust me, at that age, she has had those kinds of urges before. Perhaps even concerning a certain handsome hanyou I know…"

"S-s-shut up! Don't bullshit me!"

"Do I look like I am anything less than completely serious?"

"You're gonna look black and blue in a second!"

That retort sounded lame even to Inuyasha's ears, but Miroku let him off with a light chuckle. "Well, it is good to see you acting like your old self again."

"Keh!"

With that, Inuyasha strode past Miroku back in the direction of camp, leaving the monk to hurry in his wake.

"Just one last piece of advice, Inuyasha." The hanyou grunted but didn't move to physically injure him, so Miroku continued. "Talk to her. I mean _really_ talk to her. The two of you desperately need to clear the air."

As daunting as that prospect was, Inuyasha knew he was right. The only way to know for sure how Kagome felt was to ask her. He gulped. At least he could put that off until tomorrow. What he couldn't put off was the expression of gratitude he knew Miroku honestly deserved. So just before they returned to camp, he stopped and spoke softly over his shoulder, without turning around.

"Oi, Miroku."

"Yes, Inuyasha?"

"Thanks."

The monk chuckled. "Any time, my friend. Any time."


	3. Clearing the Air

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I'm just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I've created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.

Clearing the Air

Kagome sat up and stretched, extending her arms above her head with a small squeak of satisfaction. She rolled her head from side to side, working the stiffness from her neck. Finally she looked around the campsite, blinking the sleep from her eyes. She was surprised to learn that the sun had not yet risen; the pre-dawn morning still lingered in shades of gray. It was odd for her to be awake at this hour, and even more unusual for her to be relatively alert rather than lethargic. But given the amount of time she had spent sleeping over the past thirty-six hours, she supposed it should come as no surprise.

She was exceedingly grateful to feel like her old self again. Yesterday had been awful, plain and simple. Even near dusk, as her headache started to fade away, her exhaustion had penetrated to her very bones. Apparently a long, peaceful night's sleep had done wonders for her hangover. That, and a lengthy nap during the day, courtesy of Inuyasha's tender care. Inuyasha…just thinking of him threatened to turn her insides into a jumbled mess. He was up there in the canopy somewhere, she knew. Probably awake, though no one else was. Resolved not to rouse her other friends, Kagome settled back down into her sleeping bag. She had plenty to occupy her thoughts.

Once again she drifted back to the events of two evenings prior, trying to remember what had transpired after she and Inuyasha went off together. No such luck; the recollections she sought had either been wiped out by the alcohol or locked away very tightly. It was incredibly disappointing. Whereas yesterday morning she had experienced a sense of emptiness when she thought she had given her virginity to another man, now she felt a certain void within her for an entirely different reason. Whether or not their tryst had been a mistake, whether or not one or both of them regretted it, she would have loved to be able to hold the memories of her and Inuyasha's first time together. She was missing out on something she would have cherished, and it weighed heavily on her heart.

At least, she thought she would have cherished it. She couldn't imagine the sex had been very elegant with as drunk as they were, or physically pleasing, but neither of those things mattered to her. The closeness was what would warm her heart, the way he stared adoringly down at her as he moved within her, the sound of her name upon his lips as he became immersed in his pleasure. At least, that was what she dreamed it would be like—like making love, rather than simply having sex. In her fantasies, Inuyasha was gentle, calm and composed, and passionate…so passionate that even the slow, languid lovemaking drove her to dizzying heights of ecstasy. Given the amount of alcohol involved, reality was probably a far cry from her imagination. Still, even if he had gotten caught up in the moment and simply taken his pleasure, in a matter of seconds rather than minutes, she wouldn't hold it against him as long as his heart belonged completely to her in those moments.

The obvious extension of this thought was rather depressing—what if his heart had _not_ belonged to her? But she shook those gloomy considerations away. The Inuyasha she knew and loved would never knowingly use her as a replacement for Kikyou, and he had not mistaken her for the other miko since the day they first met. Still, Kagome could not banish the persistent doubts completely, especially because alcohol was involved. If Inuyasha became intoxicated enough, he probably could have imagined that he was sleeping with Kikyou. But 'probably could have' and 'probably did' were two entirely different things, and she would not assume the latter where the only evidence at hand pointed to the former. She had always tried to give Inuyasha the benefit of the doubt where Kikyou was concerned, because she was his first love, one of the few lights in an otherwise dark and tragic past. The once bright gleam of their love had dimmed through mistrust and betrayal, but Kagome had long ago accepted the permanent place Kikyou would always hold within his heart.

This of course was another source of concern for the young miko. Inuyasha took his responsibilities toward Kikyou very seriously, as evidenced by his spotless record of going to see her whenever she was near. Even when presented with evidence of the undead miko's bitterness and malicious actions, he always defended her. Inuyasha was honorable to a fault when it came to his devotion to Kikyou, and that was what frightened Kagome. Would he feel that lying with another, Kikyou's own reincarnation no less, had besmirched the honor he held so dear?

If the answer was 'yes,' then everything was about to change. If Inuyasha felt that he had betrayed Kikyou, he would push the catalyst for that betrayal away. The gradual growth of their relationship would come to an abrupt halt, the casual ease of their interactions of late to be replaced by uncomfortable formality. He would never again open up to her, or share some hidden piece of himself which he kept concealed from the rest of the world. In essence, the close friendship they had painstakingly built would be crushed; they would be reduced to nothing more than mere traveling companions.

Obviously, Kagome would be beyond devastated if this ever came to pass. She blinked back tears, resolving again not to jump to conclusions. Inuyasha had surprised her in the past with the depth of his heart. She had come to cautiously believe that there was room in there for both her and Kikyou. Inuyasha was not a man to wear his emotions on his sleeve, except during a confrontation. But he was a deep individual, capable of a wide range of feelings and more than able to love, with an intensity which probably frightened him. She would have to put her faith in him, to trust that he valued their friendship as much as she did. Perhaps he was dealing with the same inner conflict as she was, more worried about her reaction than his own. If so, she knew they could work this out. Things would never go back to exactly the way they had been, but they could be best friends again.

And perhaps more? Kagome sincerely hoped that her fantasies could remain within the bounds of possibility. If anything, the knowledge that she had slept with Inuyasha only made her love him more intensely. Even if the circumstances were less than ideal, one of her private dreams had been fulfilled. Indeed, her heart rejoiced uninhibitedly; it was only her mind which hesitated. And that solely because she worried about how he would feel. She would never regret sharing her first time with Inuyasha for her own sake.

Smiling softly, she pushed aside her fears and allowed herself to slip into sweet daydreams.

* * *

Kagome frowned at Inuyasha's back for the umpteenth time since they left camp. Something was…off with him today. It was now early afternoon, and the hanyou hadn't said more than five words to any of them since daybreak. This was decidedly antisocial behavior, even for him. It would make sense if he was mad at her for the other night, but Kagome could detect no anger from him. Rather than cold, he seemed merely distracted. Whenever someone tried to talk to him, it would take him a couple seconds to realize he had been spoken to, and even then he would only grunt a monosyllabic response. He seemed, for lack of a better phrase, like a man on a mission. Kagome was more than a little curious as to what exactly his objective was, but since he appeared to be in a decent enough mood she left him alone.

Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks, head turned to the side and nose sniffing deeply. The victorious smirk he adopted next was a little scary.

"Heh, I knew I remembered there being one around here!" he muttered to himself. Then he turned briefly to the rest of the group, leaving them with a "wait here" command before launching himself into the forest which began several meters off the road. The other five members of the Inu-gang could only look at each other in confusion.

"Nobody has any idea what he's up to?" Kagome tried, though she thought she knew the answer already. She got the response she expected, with the rest of her companions shaking their heads.

"I haven't the foggiest idea," Sango declared.

"Perhaps finally being with a woman has left him mentally unbalanced in some way," Miroku speculated, throwing Kagome a wink. The miko immediately blushed as red as a tomato and covered her face with her hands.

"Houshi-sama!"

"I am being completely serious, Sango," Miroku assured, backing away from the outraged taijiya with raised hands. "When a man abstains for so long, then releases all of that pent up sexual energy at once, there have to be some unexpected consequences."

Sango hesitated; his words did make sense in a perverse sort of way. For just a moment she considered the possibility that he was being genuine. She should have known better.

"Or perhaps he's snapped completely and turned into a sex fiend. Kagome-sama, we may need you to—"

*Bonk*

"Ah, Sango…I was only giving my professional analysis of Inuyasha's mental state."

Sango scoffed. "You were being a hentai. Stop teasing Kagome-chan."

"Yes, my lady."

"And don't call me that!"

Kagome, who had been silently willing the ground to open up and swallow her throughout this conversation, finally relaxed once the topic shifted away from her sex life. It seemed pretty ludicrous to her that Inuyasha was suffering from anything akin to 'blue balls withdrawal syndrome.' She was not, however, able to resist imagining what the hanyou would be like as a 'sex fiend.' A delightful shiver passed through her body, from her head down to her toes. She was sure she would enjoy a hentai Inuyasha very much.

Fortunately, said hanyou returned to them moments later, before she could delve too deeply into the fantasy. So to her eternal gratitude, no one ever noticed her distraction or guessed the reason behind it.

"This way, you lot," Inuyasha proclaimed excitedly, setting off at a brisk pace into the forest. His friends had to hurry to keep up with him, and before long Kagome felt her ire rising. Whatever he was leading them to, it had better be worth all this aggravation…

The sight which greeted her when Inuyasha finally brought them to a halt stunned her into speechlessness. It was a small hot spring, the steam beckoning seductively as it floated off the clear, gently bubbling water. _This must be what desert travelers feel when they see an oasis. Not quite sure it's real…but _really_ wanting it to be._

There was no way she could imagine the look of pride and self-satisfaction on Inuyasha's face though. Nor the exquisite feeling of the warm water when she knelt down and slipped her hand in. Eventually, she sat back on her heels and gazed wordlessly up at him, tears shining in her eyes. For him to go out of his way to do something nice for her, after what had happened, was truly touching.

He seemed to lose all of his bravado when he met her gaze. He stuttered awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other, eyes skirting everywhere except her as he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. Kagome beamed at him. _Typical Inuyasha. He'll do something nice for you, but when you thank him or ask him to explain, he'll get all embarrassed._ She found his discomfiture incredibly endearing. He hadn't sought out this hot spring to win her gratitude, or the admiration of their friends, or for any other selfish reason. He had done it solely because he wanted her to be happy. He would never know how much that meant to her.

Finally, he managed to find his voice. "I, uh, thought maybe you could use—I mean, I thought you might _want_ a bath."

Kagome's smile widened at his shy admission. She didn't even mind his near slip. She certainly did want a bath, and she most desperately needed one as well. Sango had helped her clean up yesterday morning, but nothing but a true bath could completely cleanse the sweat and lingering stench of vomit from her skin. Maybe Inuyasha had caught her sniffing herself or sighing wistfully this morning as she thought about a long soak in her bathtub at home. The hot spring would be even better; if there was ever a time for 'girl talk' with Sango, it was now. So she knew Inuyasha had not been driven by a desire to improve her body odor. If that were the case, he would have tossed her in that pond they had walked by this morning. That non-steamy, _cold_ pond. This hot spring, on the other hand, was something she would enjoy immensely, which she was confident had been his goal the entire time.

In a flash she was up and pressed against him, her arms wrapped around his back in a tight embrace. He sucked in a full lungful of air in shock, and for a heartbeat Kagome questioned the wisdom of her action. But when he relaxed somewhat and hesitantly held her to him with one arm draped loosely over her shoulders, she was reduced to burying her face in his haori and holding back joyous tears.

"Wow, Inuyasha, I'm impressed," Sango observed. "How did you know this place was here?"

"Keh. I passed this way a few years before I was sealed, and I thought I remembered bathing in a spring. I'm just glad the spring didn't dry up after fifty-something years."

"Indeed, Inuyasha, it was incredibly kind of you to seek out this spring for Kagome-sama," Miroku remarked with a teasing air. "But lest we forget, 'there's a lot of daylight left.' You wouldn't want us 'lazy' humans 'taking half a day off,' now would you?"

Kagome giggled at that, pulling back from Inuyasha enough to tilt her head and peer up at him with one eye. She knew Miroku was just parroting back at Inuyasha some of the very phrases the hanyou had used against them in the past. Evidently Inuyasha got the joke as well, because he took it in stride.

"Shut up, bouzu. We can stop early this _one time._ Tomorrow we're back to normal."

With one final squeeze to show him that she didn't mind this arrangement, Kagome released Inuyasha and hopped over to her bag to gather her bathing supplies. She hummed softly to herself as she went about the task, practically giddy with excitement.

"I think you boys had better leave before she starts undressing," Sango told them jokingly. She had meant it purely as a jest, but quickly realized how even that comment could be taken by one so inclined. Inuyasha's small gasp and the lecherous smirk Miroku shot her certainly helped in that regard.

"Don't say anything, Houshi-sama!" she ordered, and this time the monk wisely complied. Lost in her own world, Kagome fortunately missed the entire exchange. She did not, however, miss Shippou's surprised yelp as Inuyasha grabbed him by the tail and began carrying him away from the spring.

"Put me down, Inuyasha! I wanna take a bath, too!"

"Nope, you're coming with us, runt. I'm sure the women want to talk about _female_ stuff. That's shit no guy needs to hear."

He said it with a healthy helping of disdain, but Kagome was in too good a mood to 'osuwari' him for it. And he was right; she did want to discuss certain things with Sango that Shippou should not hear. As soon as the guys were out of sight she began removing her clothes, tossing them into a pile instead of neatly laying them out or folding them as she normally would. She was anticipating the sensation of that glorious water enveloping her skin too much to bother with such niceties.

It was as delightful as she imagined, and she closed her eyes and sank into a brief state of heavenly bliss. What little soreness remained in her muscles was quickly banished. Eventually she knew she would have to retrieve her soap and shampoo and actually bathe, but for now she just wanted to soak. She heard Sango sigh in contentment as she lowered herself into the spring across from her, and flashed the taijiya a wry smile.

"We should do this more often, Sango-chan. It's nice enjoying a hot spring in the middle of the day."

"Tch. Don't get used to it. Inuyasha will never let us do it again," Sango replied light-heartedly, but Kagome's mood turned contemplative. What had Inuyasha said? 'Tomorrow we're back to normal?' _If only that were true._ Inuyasha had only meant that their traveling schedule would return to its customary routine, but there was one big elephant in the room which still needed to be addressed. Somehow, Kagome couldn't quite believe that things would ever be truly normal again.

"Kagome-chan? Are you okay?"

Sango's query startled Kagome from her musings. "Huh? Oh, I'm fine, Sango-chan. The hangover has basically worn off."

"Well, I'm glad, but that's not what I meant. Are you okay…with Inuyasha?"

Kagome bit her lip. That was a much more complicated question; she had been thinking about it all morning and still had no answers.

"I don't know, Sango-chan. I hope we are, but that's kind of up to him."

"Because you don't regret it," Sango replied. It was not a question, but Kagome confirmed with a shake of her head. "And you're just worried about how he'll feel about it." At Kagome's nod, Sango sighed. "You know what you have to do now, right Kagome-chan? Inuyasha's too much of a coward to ever bring it up, so if you want to talk to him about it, you'll have to start the conversation. I would do it soon. The more you let this drag on, the more awkward it will get, and the more we'll all have to deal with Houshi-sama's antics."

Kagome cringed; none of that sounded pleasant. She knew Sango was right. She and Inuyasha desperately needed to talk, and the hanyou had never shown the intestinal fortitude to initiate this kind of conversation before. She recalled the time not so long ago, when she had nearly stopped journeying to the feudal era altogether. The only reason they were still together was because she had put aside her feelings of jealousy and asked if she could remain by his side, despite his commitments to Kikyou. And those same commitments were one of the primary reasons they needed to talk in the first place.

She heard Sango muttering under her breath. The slayer's irritation was palpable, and Kagome was unsure whom it was directed toward. A rather disturbing thought occurred to her.

"Sango-chan…you don't think I _should_ regret what happened, do you?"

Sango blinked at her, seemingly surprised by the question. Then she shrugged casually. "Not really. It's not like you had…relations with some random guy. Inuyasha is special to you. Doing that sort of thing with a man before marriage is frowned upon in this day and age, but it happens. Even in a very traditional village like mine, I remember growing up and hearing rumors about what older boys and girls would sometimes do. So it's probably a temptation that most young people have to deal with at one time or another. And _then_ you have charming lechers roaming the countryside, preying on unsuspecting girls! Makes me glad I didn't have time for any of that nonsense. Training to become a taijiya was hard, but it had its advantages."

Kagome, though immensely relieved that Sango apparently did not think less of her for her indiscretion, could not fail to notice the direction in which the slayer's speech had turned. She never did find out how Sango's evening had gone…

"So you think Miroku-sama is charming now?" she teased.

Sango choked and sputtered, blushing deeply. "I-I never said that! I…uh, what I meant was that naïve young girls might _think_ a lecher like him was charming only because they don't know any better."

"Ohhhh, I see," Kagome drawled, smiling knowingly.

"It's the truth!" Sango exclaimed, more than a hint of desperation in her tone.

"Oh, of _course._ I believe you, Sango-chan."

The slayer harrumphed at this and crossed her arms over her chest. Kagome had to giggle; her friend did not pout often, but this was definitely one of those times.

"You know, Sango-chan, you never told me what happened that night with you and Miroku-sama."

Kagome did not know what reaction she'd been expecting from Sango, but it was not the soft smile the other woman couldn't quite manage to hold back. And when she spoke, her excitement also shone through despite her best efforts.

"Well, it was…interesting, I'll say that. You _know_ he surrounded himself with a small harem of serving girls. But then, he didn't really _do_ much of anything. He flirted quite a bit and propositioned some of them. But even then, I never felt like he really wanted to take a girl to bed with him. It seemed like he was just enjoying himself at the celebration. He kept his hands to himself, and—"

"What?! He didn't grope anyone?!" Kagome found that nearly unbelievable. But she had no doubt that Sango had been watching the wayward houshi like a hawk, so it must be true. _Hm, maybe alcohol has the reverse effect on Miroku-sama. He's already a lecher when he's sober, so maybe drinking makes his behavior _less_ perverted?_ More likely, and much more appealingly to Kagome, the monk had simply not wanted to hurt Sango by engaging in such behavior in front of her. She knew they cared for each other, but to what extent was a frustrating gray area. For example, if Sango had been leagues away and knew nothing about the celebration, would Miroku's attitude have changed? Would he have bedded one or more of the girls, assuming they were willing? When push came to shove, Kagome hoped the monk would choose Sango, but temptation was a strong force—obviously—and she honestly was not sure how that situation would play out. For now, she was glad that Miroku had at least shown some sign of curbing his bad habits in Sango's presence.

"I know, I couldn't believe it either," the slayer told her eagerly. "But he really didn't grope anyone. Well…not until we were walking to our rooms to go to sleep…and I let my guard down."

Kagome laughed merrily at this, and even Sango had to chuckle. Miroku had groped her literally dozens of times since they first met, but still the monk managed to catch her by surprise almost every time. For once, Kagome was glad he had done it. Rather than contracting some sort of strange temporary illness which completely shut down sexual libido, this indicated that Miroku had truly restrained himself in a situation in which he would certainly have _not_ done so before meeting Sango. The fact that he could keep his hands off of other women was not something to be lauded, but it was a step in the right direction.

"That's great, Sango-chan. I'm glad…" _I'm glad that night was a positive development for at least one of our relationships. _

Sango, sensing the abrupt shift in her friend's mood, lowered her head in shame. "Kagome-chan, I'm really sorry."

"Huh? For what?"

"For not sticking by you that night," Sango told her. When Kagome opened her mouth to protest, the slayer cut her off. "No, please. I knew you and Inuyasha had too much to drink, but I was too worried about Houshi-sama and myself to consider what might happen. Us women have to watch out for each other in situations like that. I was a terrible friend. I'm _really_ sorry."

"Don't blame yourself, Sango-chan," Kagome replied, feeling genuine sympathy for her guilt-stricken companion, who appeared to be on the verge of tears. "I knew it was a bad idea for me to start drinking, but I did it anyway. If this turns out to be a total disaster, then it will be totally my fault."

"Ch-cheer up, Kagome-chan!" Sango tried, seeing that the younger girl was about to start crying herself. "It will work out! Maybe this will knock some sense into Inuyasha. Maybe he'll realize that he's in love with you."

Kagome didn't think that even Sango truly believed Inuyasha would have that sort of magical epiphany, but she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. Sniffling, she dried her eyes and managed a watery smile.

"Thanks, Sango-chan."

Sango nodded. "And if Inuyasha _is_ mad about what happened, just tell me and I'll beat some sense into him. It was more his fault than yours. He must have drunk enough to kill three grown men."

Kagome grinned at the memory. "How did that poor man ever think he was going to beat Inuyasha in a drinking contest?"

"Tch. Men don't use common sense, Kagome-chan. They're hyper-competitive, and they like to come up with excuses to drink too much and make complete asses of themselves. The fact that Inuyasha was a hanyou probably made that fool want to beat him even more."

It was true, Kagome reflected. Even in the warm and welcoming atmosphere of the celebration, no one could ignore the fact that Inuyasha was not human. She had learned that prejudice against hanyou took a variety of forms, and could lurk under the surface even within seemingly kind and open-minded individuals. This thought brought a disturbing doubt to her mind, and she gazed at Sango thoughtfully. She was almost positive she knew the answer to her next question, but she had to be sure.

"Sango-chan, you don't have a problem with me being with Inuyasha like that, do you?"

Sango glared at her. "Of course not!" she snapped, her tone indicating that she was mildly offended. "If I did, I would have told you long before you developed strong feelings for him. Growing up in my village and living with Kirara, I learned not to judge anyone by how much youkai blood they have. Inuyasha is a good man, for the most part. You know, aside from being a two-timing jerk."

It occurred to Kagome that of all the times Inuyasha had been accused of two-timing, this was the first time he was actually guilty of it according to the truest definition of the phrase. And if anyone in their twisted love triangle had a better case to argue that she was being two-timed, it was now Kikyou. That Inuyasha would realize this and feel remorse for Kikyou's sake was one of Kagome's greatest fears. But for now, her primary concern had to be the fact that Sango was annoyed with her.

"I'm sorry, Sango-chan. That was insensitive of me."

The slayer sighed. "It's okay, Kagome-chan. You were right to worry. It would be best not to tell a lot of people about this. Those who know the two of you well will understand, but others… At first, they'll think that Inuyasha forced you or put a spell on you, but once they realize neither of those are true, they'll think you're a…uh, well…"

"A whore?" Kagome finished. Sango's grimace confirmed her guess. Kagome felt her skin flush, a righteous anger rising within her. _So in this world, anyone who sleeps with a hanyou is automatically a whore?_ What a cruel, unfair place to live. And Inuyasha had been dealing with this garbage his whole life? Her ire only grew as she considered what her hanyou must have been through.

"R-r-relax, Kagome-chan!" Sango soothed, knowing how formidable her friend's temper could be when she lost control of it. "Don't worry about those ignorant people. No one whose opinion you care about thinks less of you and Inuyasha for loving each other."

Kagome took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. Inuyasha had always been surrounded by prejudice on all sides, but no longer. One of the things she was most proud of was that she had never rejected his youkai half. Now he had her by his side, and other friends who accepted him for who he was. He had people he could turn to when the bigotry of the world became too much, people who would make him feel better about himself even though he would never admit he was hurting. Kagome had vowed long ago to be his rock, as long as he needed her. It was a vow she kept to this day. And with that comforting thought, her fury finally left her.

For the next few minutes the two women settled into companionable silence, as they took turns using the soap and shampoo to wash up. Sango seemed to be deep in contemplation, so Kagome left her to it. Finally, when both of them were clean and sitting quietly in the spring once more, the slayer spoke up.

"Kagome-chan…w-what's it like?"

Sango was sporting a healthy blush, and Kagome felt her own cheeks heat to match. But instead of stuttering in embarrassment, she simply sighed miserably. There was nothing to stutter over, after all.

"I really wish I could tell you, Sango-chan. But I don't remember any of it."

"You don't? Wow…that's—"

"It sucks, Sango-chan."

"Well, maybe you'll remember eventually. Memory loss isn't always permanent."

Kagome nodded; that was her only hope of ever remembering her and Inuyasha's first time together. If they became a couple and had more intimate moments, she wouldn't care so much about not remembering that night. But if that proved to be the only time she and Inuyasha ever shared themselves with each other in such a manner, she knew the blackout would haunt her until the day she died.

They spent a few more quiet minutes in the spring before Sango got out and began drying off.

"Are you coming, Kagome-chan?" she asked, noticing that the miko seemed to be considering something.

"No, I…can you do me a favor, Sango-chan?"

The slayer grinned. "Want me to ask Inuyasha to come see you?"

Kagome nodded nervously. "Thanks, Sango-chan."

"Sure thing. I'll tell him not to procrastinate either."

Sango waited until Kagome was dried off and in the process of dressing herself before departing. The last thing she and Inuyasha needed right now was another awkward moment. When she was fully clothed, Kagome sat down on a flat rock at the edge of the spring, facing the flickering glow of the campfire. Trying to slow the rapid beating of her heart, she waited.

He did not take as long in coming as she had anticipated. But when he emerged from behind a tree and stepped into the clearing, time itself seemed to freeze. His appearance was the same as always, from the tips of his ears to his bare toes. Kagome had never seen him carry himself in this manner, however. The best description she could come up with for his demeanor was that of a condemned man walking to his own execution. His expression was guarded, giving nothing away. But his eyes, always expressive, spoke of veiled fears and stubborn hope. It gave her courage, the way he held himself. She imagined her own eyes reflected the same emotions back at him.

Silence reigned for long, uncomfortable moments. Kagome scrambled for something to say, anything to break the oppressive mood. The soft bubbling of the hot spring behind her provided inspiration for a safe icebreaker.

"So…I never formally thanked you for leading us to this spring. Thank you, Inuyasha."

"K-keh," the hanyou muttered, looking away from her in embarrassment. "It was nothing."

Once again, silence settled over the pair. Kagome grimaced. _Nice icebreaker, Kagome. We managed to talk for a whole five seconds. Now what?_ Should she just jump right into the crucial topic, the one which was clearly on both of their minds? Inuyasha had come at her behest, but she didn't want to scare him off by bringing up the other night before he was ready. If he got anxious, he might close himself off and they would accomplish nothing. So then should she try to make more small talk? Inuyasha was not a huge fan of talk in general, never mind small talk. Was there even a right way to approach this, or was she simply searching for the best of a bunch of bad options?

"Kagome…"

His voice startled her from her musings, and she glanced up to find him staring at her intently. She held her breath, entranced by the intensity of his gaze. He swallowed hard, a great inner battle waging in his golden orbs. But whatever he glimpsed as their gazes were locked together seemed to give him courage. Finally, after a small eternity of delay, he cleared his throat and spoke.

"Kagome, about the other night…uh…"

His fragile courage deserted him after that, but it was enough. Those four simple words told Kagome everything she needed to know. He was ready to talk about what had happened; he wouldn't back down or run away. It was time. She knew exactly what she needed to say, and now she had the confidence to do it.

"Inuyasha, I'm so, so sorry. I never meant to put you in that position. I never—I shouldn't have—ugh, I'm such a baka. I'm really sorry."

Kagome sniffled, annoyed with herself for crying so easily. But the act of apologizing to Inuyasha had brought all of her insecurities to the surface again. Her heart was lying on the ground between them; it was up to Inuyasha whether to pick it up and return it to her, or stomp it into mush.

For half a heartbeat, Inuyasha had been absolutely crushed. Kagome regretted it after all, that she had gotten drunk and slept with a hanyou. In that moment, his strongest desire had been to crawl into a cave somewhere and die. But then she kept talking, and his sorrow dissolved in favor of confusion. If she was merely expressing her regret over sleeping with him, then the rest of her statement made no sense. And now that he thought about it, her tone of voice was all wrong as well. And were those tears? Why on earth was she crying? None of this made any sense!

Gradually, the pieces came together for our bewildered hanyou. Kagome's behavior still made no logical sense, but it fit perfectly with her personality. Even so, this was beyond anything he could have imagined. He knew Kagome was selfless, but to this insane degree? To only worry about how he felt about what happened, never mind that it was his damn fault to begin with. For her to care so much about him, and so little about herself. It was incredibly humbling, and an indescribable warmth blossomed in his chest. But still, this could not stand. Kagome's feelings on the matter, while truly generous and noble, were absolutely ridiculous. And he knew they would make no progress whatsoever until he corrected her misunderstanding.

"Kagome, why the hell are _you_ apologizing to _me_?"

She looked at him like he had two heads, as though she was shocked that he needed an explanation. That was perhaps the most amazing thing of all. She wasn't even trying to be selfless; it was just who she was.

"B-because, I made you do something you didn't want. I…I made you betray Kikyou."

Inuyasha nearly toppled over in shock. _What?! Where the fuck did she get that idea?!_ And why did he suddenly feel so guilty? Deep in the most remote corner of his mind, a voice whispered. _Because you make her feel so insecure about Kikyou, you ass._ In the blink of an eye, his guilt turned to irritation. It was mostly directed inward, but he certainly had no problem venting it outwardly.

"First of all, wench, you didn't _make_ me do anything. It was me making you do something that _you_ didn't want."

As it always did, Kagome's ire rose to match his own. "You're wrong," she told him firmly, drying her eyes furiously with the back of her hand. "It was my fault."

"No, it was mine!"

"I said you're wrong!"

"Why, do you remember?"

"No, do you?"

"No!"

The combatants froze mid-utterance at this revelation, both recoiling contemplatively. Each had wondered privately if the other retained a memory of the event, so neither was too surprised. For Kagome, his insistence that he was the aggressor meant nothing. Whenever any harm came to her, Inuyasha always blamed himself. And he took it hard. He was just falling into an old pattern here, without really thinking his words through. And she was tired of fighting with him on this.

"It doesn't matter," she said quietly. "Whether you started it or I did, I still made you betray—"

"Don't say it," he ordered, stunning her into silence. He couldn't stand to hear her give voice to that idiotic assumption again. Especially because said idiocy was entirely his fault. No matter what else took place this evening, he had to remedy this one insecurity above all else.

"Kikyou…has nothing to do with this," he declared resolutely. Kagome gasped but said nothing, so he continued. "I owe Kikyou my life, but that doesn't mean I can't _live_ while I'm alive. I…I didn't make that promise." He had said what he needed to say, but he plowed on, driven by the awed expression on her face and the swelling of his own heart. "I don't remember that night. But, I know I wasn't thinking of Kikyou. And I didn't want to. Kagome, you're not Kikyou. I don't _want_ you to be Kikyou. Kagome is Kagome, and no one else."

He nearly choked on his own graceless tongue toward the end, but somehow managed to finish. He was gratified when Kagome burst into tears and leaned forward with her face in her hands. He was by her side before he even realized it, pulling her to him. She leaned bonelessly into him, burying her face in his chest as sobs wracked her thin frame. He rubbed her back, much as he had done two mornings prior. And as her tears subsided, her sobs winding down to occasional shudders, all of the tension left his body. He tilted his head back, grinning up at the heavens. It was in this wonderful moment that he finally knew they would be okay.

That said, they weren't done talking, not by a long shot. He was still in awe of her, the generous spirit which had captivated him long ago. And as happy as he was, he didn't hesitate to let her know it.

"I still can't believe you're not mad at me," he told her, a hint of wonder coloring his tone.

"Why would I be made at you?" she asked, looking up at him with genuine confusion.

Inuyasha shook his head and wondered how a worthless hanyou had gotten so lucky. _She doesn't even consider the possibility that I took advantage of her_. Was her faith in him that strong, or did she have another reason for her belief? Miroku's words came back to him: 'Trust me, at that age, she has had those kinds of urges before. Perhaps even concerning a certain handsome hanyou I know…' He blushed at the memory. He hadn't really believed it at the time, but maybe the lecher was right. Perhaps Kagome did find him attractive in more than a passing observation kind of way. Perhaps she even desired him. He found these thoughts to be disturbingly pleasing, and not in a purely physical sense. I was never purely physical with Kagome. She could make his heart beat quicker than any enemy alive with just a smile, but she also warmed him in an entirely spiritual way. She was the balm that healed his wounded heart, the only one who could soothe his rebellious soul. She was his first true friend, the one he still relied on above all others. And it was truly amazing to know that despite what had happened, their relationship was not going to deteriorate. It was, as far as he was concerned, just another miracle stemming from the greatest miracle of all—Kagome herself.

"What are you thinking?" she asked curiously, startling him. But for once he didn't stutter, as serene as he felt. He did not, however, answer her question truthfully. He was definitely not ready for that.

"It's nothing. _Still_ can't believe you're not mad, is all."

She chuckled. "For the last time, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"But how can you— I mean, I did take your…virginity."

Kagome sat up and took his hand, holding it in both of her own upon her lap. She stared into his eyes, wanting there to be no misunderstanding. He had opened himself up to her tonight in a new and profound way, washing away her fears with heartfelt words. It was the least she could do to reciprocate.

"Inuyasha, you didn't take anything. I don't remember that night either, but I know that I gave myself to you willingly."

He stared at her, mouth agape, then abruptly broke off his gaze and took to intensely studying a tuft of grass by his leg.

"S-s-still though," he tried, unwilling to give up on this line of apology. "To have your first time be while you were too drunk to even remember…it shouldn't have been like that. Sorry it wasn't 'romantic' or 'magical,'" he finished quietly, ears drooping. He had overheard her and Sango talking about a 'girl's first time' one day, and those two adjectives had definitely come up repeatedly. Kagome's first time, however, was probably nothing of the sort. For her, reality must be about as far from her girlish dreams as rationally possible.

"That's okay," she assured him. "I'm…I'm just glad it was you, rather than some stranger from the village."

Inuyasha inhaled so sharply that he nearly blew a lung. He was actually grateful for the ensuing coughing fit, however, since it gave him time to process her words without gaping at her like a fool. She _preferred_ him. A hanyou. Over other humans. He knew he shouldn't have such a hard time wrapping his head around that, but it went against everything he had thought he knew about the world. Even a few short months ago, when they had known each other for a while and gone through some difficult times together, he never would have imagined her sleeping with him and being _happy_ about it. And she was happy, her smile radiant and uninhibited, her eyes shining like stars. It was as though she honestly regretted nothing. Or that her dreams had in fact come true, simply because she had shared herself with him.

The floor dropped out from under Inuyasha suddenly. He was in freefall, clutching at something to grab onto but finding only uncompromising void. If what he had just imagined was true, then Kagome was in love with him. But she _couldn't_ be in love with him…could she? Yes they were friends, and yes she cared about him, perhaps even as more than friends. But love? He tried to convince himself it wasn't true. What was love, anyway? He wasn't even sure he knew what it felt like. Logically, what love meant to him was commitment, wanting to give one's life to another and receive the other person's life in return. It wasn't about financial stability, or even having children; love to him was a burning desire to be with someone else, forever. And 'forever' was the crucial word. He now knew that Kagome did not mind sharing her body with him at least once. He had already known that she wished to remain by his side for the time being. But she could not possibly want to live with him for the rest of their days; she could not possibly feel that burning desire to stay by his side until death parted them. It made no sense, whatsoever. It was impossible.

And yet, a stubborn part of him pointed out that Kagome never made any logical sense. She was a great enigma, and if anyone could truly love him, it was her. All of this was to say nothing about his own feelings, perhaps an even greater enigma. Did he, by his own definition, love Kagome?

"Was it…your first time also?"

Her soft voice brought him back to the present, for which he was eternally grateful. Contemplating his feelings was hard; putting it off for another day was easy. He did, however, wish that she had asked a less embarrassing question. But given the conversation they had been engaged in, he could not deny her the truth.

Kagome beamed brightly at his curt nod. "I'm glad," was all she said, but it was enough to set his heart racing all over again. _Me too._ His eyes widened at the revelation. He was glad that his first sexual experience had been with Kagome; there was no one on this earth whom he would rather share himself with. The obvious 'why?' question which followed scared the hell out of him. The answer could change everything. Suddenly his head hurt; he was tired of thinking. He and Kagome were going to stay friends and continue on their journey together. He had plenty of time to sort himself out, to discern what Kagome was to him and where she fit into his future. Right?

And so, in part because of his emotional fatigue, and in part because he wanted to steer the conversation away from awkward topics, Inuyasha sat up straight and faced Kagome head-on.

"So…still friends?" he asked in a tone which spoke of both confidence and finality.

If Kagome noticed his clear attempt to abort the discussion, she took no offense to it. Instead, she chuckled and shook her head wryly, before leaning forward and enfolding him in a warm embrace. He wrapped his arms around her, both cherishing the closeness. But the moment passed quickly, and Kagome soon pulled away.

"Of course, baka," she told him in answer to his question. "Come on," she said, rising and offering him a hand up. "Let's go back to camp."

He accepted her offer and pulled himself to his feet, but then released her hand and stepped away, wearing an amused smirk.

"Keh. You go ahead. I'm gonna take a bath. I stink too, you know."

Kagome put her hands on her hips and flashed a mock glare. "Oh, so I stink, do I?"

"You did, but not anymore," Inuyasha replied easily, surprised by the effortlessness of their banter.

Kagome sighed in an attempt to portray misery. "I knew you had ulterior motives. You were just trying to make me smell better."

"Keh. I could've just thrown you in that pond we passed this morning, wench. I brought you here instead 'cause I'm such a nice guy."

"You just didn't want me to say 'it.'"

Inuyasha shrugged, but did not deny it. Still, Kagome saw right through his nonchalance. She had already come to the conclusion that Inuyasha had brought her to this hot spring because he wanted to do something nice for her, and their discussion this evening had done nothing to disprove that notion. In fact, this evening had gone about as well as it possibly could have. She would say that the air was _fully_ cleared between them; there was literally nothing left that needed to be said. With that in mind, she decided to leave him to his bath.

"Enjoy your bath, Inuyasha."

"Keh. Don't get lost on the way back, wench."

"I can see the glow from the fire! Ooooooh! Baka!"

Inuyasha snickered as she vanished from sight, feeling freer than he could ever remember. He almost couldn't believe that things had gone as well as they had. Their friendship was stronger than he had dared to hope. Was there anything they couldn't weather?

* * *

Days passed, and life returned to normal for our hanyou and miko, with some slight differences. Awkward moments became more common, but they were almost more a source of amusement to the pair than they were embarrassing. Their companions noticed that they talked to each other more, not significantly so, but enough to be noticeable. The lightheartedness which had characterized their interactions on 'good days' in the past now seemed to be the rule rather than the exception. The real source of change was Inuyasha, who appeared to be secure in his own skin in a way never seen before. Overall, it appeared to every member of the Inu-gang that not only had Inuyasha and Kagome overcome their ill-advised night of drunken passion, but that they had grown closer because of it.

They all should have known that those blissful days were too good to be true.

* * *

A/N – Sorry about that last line, folks, but I had do to it. Couldn't have you thinking that the rest of this story is all sunshine and flowers, now could I?


	4. Side Effects

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I'm just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I've created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.

Side Effects

"Kagome, run!"

The voice was Inuyasha's, his normally gruff tone inflected with desperation. She didn't need to look at him to know that his eyes were wide with fear. But Kagome had no intention of obeying. This battle had seen too many close calls already. Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango—all had come within a matter of centimeters of death in the past few minutes. She, Kagome, was the only one who had the luxury of staying back and out of danger.

But no longer. Their enemy was charging at her, its powerful arm prepared to smash her into pulp. It was underestimating her. For this mistake, it would pay with its life. She would end this battle with one shot, and the lives of her friends would no longer be in jeopardy.

Exhaling slowly and calmly, she readied her arrow.

* * *

It had been a little over a week since Inuyasha and Kagome talked things out, and the Inu-gang had settled back into a routine. Wake up, eat, travel, eat, travel, make camp, eat, and sleep. Rinse and repeat. And if the hanyou and miko were acting slightly nicer to each other than usual, then that was most certainly a good thing. There had been no youkai attacks to speak of, and they had not come across another village to check for rumors of Naraku. Normally a stretch of boredom of this length would frustrate Inuyasha, but the hanyou showed no signs of grumpiness. Beyond his customarily gruff demeanor, of course. But even that had been noticeably softer as of late. He had more patience for everyone, particularly Shippou. At one point, the fox kit had commented that Inuyasha must be trying to set a new personal record for most days in between dirt tastings. The streak ended later that evening when the two of them squabbled over the last fish, but instead of letting Shippou have it as she normally would, Kagome gave it to Kirara. The message was clear: Inuyasha wasn't allowed to bully Shippou, but the kit wasn't allowed to instigate either. The next night the two of them silently agreed to split the last morsel. So Shippou avoided another lump on the head, and Inuyasha did not have to chase his meal down with dirt.

Overall, things were going incredibly well. Too well, as it turned out. Periods of peace seldom lasted long, and they were often followed by times of turmoil. All of the tranquility came to an abrupt end one sunny afternoon, along a quiet country road running through a forested valley.

Inuyasha's announcement that he smelled a foul scent on the breeze signaled the beginning of the trouble. At first Kagome thought he might have been referring to Kouga, but the hanyou's grave expression quashed that idea. His hand came to rest on Tetsusaiga's hilt as he turned to the north, a cold, sinister southerly wind whipping his hair.

"Get back, all of you," he ordered, and everyone obeyed. They were not afraid to fight, but they would defer to Inuyasha's judgment, at least until it became clear that the hanyou needed assistance. Shippou was already shaking like a leaf, and Kirara hissed furiously. Whatever scent Inuyasha had detected was spooking them as well.

Their enemy came into sight at a distance of several hundred meters, emerging from behind a small rise. At first glance, Kagome thought it looked like a run-of-the-mill oni, perhaps toward the larger end of the spectrum. But as it came closer, she began to second-guess her initial assessment. It was a huge creature, its shoulders swollen hideously with muscle to support two massively powerful arms. But the skin was a dark tan, and even at a distance the texture didn't seem quite right—it looked softer, more like human skin. Coupled with the armour it was wearing, complete with massive chest plates and shoulder guards, this thing looked nothing like any oni Kagome had ever seen.

An opinion confirmed as it came to a halt a few dozen meters away, sizing them up with a fanged grin. In fact, the mouth seemed frozen in a perpetual sneer, baring interlocking rows of pointed teeth. Black pupils studied them, a certain level of intelligence reflected back. They were ridiculously small for a creature this size, practically drowning in bleach white, bloodshot sclera. Painted blue markings under the eyes and spiky green hair standing atop its head like writhing flames completed the maniacal look.

Kagome turned to Inuyasha to gauge his reaction, and found him gazing at her questioningly. Instantly she knew what he wanted to know. She shook her head, unable to detect even a trace of the Shikon no Tama on the creature's body. Whatever this thing was, it was this large and powerful on its own.

"Hm, just as the kid said," the creature declared smugly in a low, sinister voice, talking to itself. "A pathetic-looking hanyou, three humans, and a neko-youkai. The neko might be good roasting over a spit, the humans I'll just eat raw. The hanyou looks bony and unappetizing, maybe I'll just kill him. Or I could boil him in a pot with the humans. Hm…"

Kagome was not surprised that the creature could speak, given its vaguely humanoid appearance. It was, however, more than a little disturbing to hear it ponder aloud the most delicious way to devour her.

"Oi, oi, oi," Inuyasha interjected, his voice fierce but calm. He slowly drew Tetsusaiga from its sheath, transformed it, and leaned it against his shoulder. "What the hell are you going on about, bastard? If you wanna fight, just say so."

The creature glanced at Inuyasha and laughed, much to the hanyou's ire. Then it focused its malevolent stare directly at Kagome, who shrank back under the malice in its gaze.

"A girl wearing clothes the likes of which you've never seen carries the shards of the Shikon no Tama," it stated, as if quoting from memory. "That must be you, girl. Tell me, will you hand the shards over in exchange for a painless death, or do I have to make this messy?"

"Oi!" Inuyasha yelled, concealing none of his anger as he placed himself in front of Kagome, cutting off the creature's line of sight. "Don't fucking talk to her! You so much as look at her again, and I'll rip those ugly-ass eyeballs of yours out of your skull!"

The creature chuckled again, as if genuinely amused by the threat. "You can't beat me, hanyou. That sword of yours, help from your humans, none of it will make any difference. I'm invincible. If you don't believe me, come at me and find out."

Inuyasha looked like he wanted to do just that, but he held himself back. "Answer me one question before I slaughter you. You mentioned a kid before. Tell me, was this kid wearing taijiya armour?"

Kagome had wondered the same thing and was glad Inuyasha had asked about it before charging in. She glanced over at Sango; her friend was stone-faced, but her eyes gave away her emotions. If the child the creature had mentioned really was Kohaku, then they could be one step closer to finding Naraku and freeing the lad.

But their adversary only shrugged. "Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. Could be that he's already in my belly."

"Bastard!"

"You lie," Sango accused quietly. The creature only looked at her and sneered. Growling to herself, Sango reared back and prepared to throw hiraikotsu. Inuyasha's cutting voice stopped her.

"Wait, Sango! This thing…something's not right. It doesn't smell like a youkai or a human. Instead, it reeks of a corpse and graveyard soil!"

Kagome gasped. _Not human or youkai, but dead? That means, this thing is like Kikyou?_ Only to a certain extent, she realized. Kikyou was cruel and bitter, but this creature was pure evil in a way the dead miko had never been.

"Just what the hell are you?" she heard Inuyasha demand.

Their enemy chuckled darkly. "Isn't it obvious? I'm human."

Kagome could only shake her head. _But how can that be? How can this huge, hideous thing be human?_ And that wasn't even considering Inuyasha's claim that it smelled like a walking corpse. Just what was going on here? There was a piece missing, and for the life of her she couldn't solve the puzzle.

Evidently, Inuyasha reached the same conclusion. "Kagome," he asked her urgently, "are you _sure_ this bastard doesn't have a jewel shard?"

She looked for a second time, but once again could detect no telltale light from a piece of the Shikon no Tama. Whether pure or tainted black, she had always been able to see the subtle glow emitted by jewel shards. There just simply wasn't any such indicator on this guy's body.

"I'm positive, Inuyasha," she told him confidently. He nodded once, then turned back to their opponent.

"All right, then. Prepare yourself, asshole. I'm gonna put you back in the ground where you belong!"

He charged forward, intending to close the distance and blow this abomination away with a Kaze no Kizu at point-blank range. At times, he would admit to purposely extending fights just to get some enjoyment out of them. But that was against weak opponents, when he knew exactly what he was facing. Not here; he didn't know what this thing was capable of, or even what it was. Reanimated corpse or no, the mystery factor meant that he would not take this opponent lightly. Especially with Kagome and the others far closer to the combat zone that he would have liked.

The enemy lurched into motion, bringing its hand down in an open-hand smash. It moved quicker than Inuyasha would expect for a creature its size, and as a result the hanyou did not have enough time to unleash any of Tetsusaiga's stronger attacks. Instead, he settled for dodging to the right, landing gracefully on the balls of his feet as the impact sent chunks of dirt and rock flying in all directions. Then he executed a swift change of direction and neatly severed the arm at the wrist with one swing of his sword.

Now normally, when a living being loses an appendage, the natural reaction is to recoil in shock. This enemy did no such thing. Instead, it suddenly swept the now hand-less arm laterally along the ground, catching Inuyasha by surprise. The hanyou managed to twist his body to avoid taking the impact directly in the chest, but it still threw him a fair distance and jarred Tetsusaiga from his grasp. He rolled as he hit the ground, until his momentum ceased and he was able to pick himself up, swearing and shaking his head to clear the dizziness. Again the creature behaved in an unexpected manner; instead of pursing him, it had retrieved its lost hand. The stump of its arm, Inuyasha observed, was not bleeding nearly as profusely as it should be. Then it held the two disparate parts together. A chorus of gasps rang out as hand and arm fused into one, flawlessly reconnecting skin, muscle, and bone. The arrogant sneer reappeared, and the creature turned to face the hanyou again, flexing its reattached fingers menacingly.

Inuyasha grimaced and scanned the area for his sword, spying it a fair distance away. His opponent also noticed the weapon, lying approximately halfway between them, perhaps slightly closer to the latter. Both combatants moved simultaneously, Inuyasha racing to reclaim his sword and the creature trying to prevent this. It became clear to the hanyou that he was going to lose this race, but he determined to slice his way through with his claws even if he got there last. If this thing could regenerate, he would need Tetsusaiga's higher attacks in order to defeat it. Total obliteration was the only way to go in a situation like this.

Just before they clashed, a swirl of motion soared in from Inuyasha's left and took out a chunk of his opponent's shoulder. It was hiraikotsu, now coming back around to return to its wielder. He heard the sound Kirara always made when she transformed, and knew that his taijiya backup would soon be airborne. The creature, however, was barely fazed by this turn of events; indeed, the wound in its shoulder started to heal almost instantly. Then it was upon him, one clawed hand swiping at him from the side and the other raised to strike from above. Inuyasha somersaulted over the former and sidestepped the latter, always cognizant of where the prize lay less than a dozen meters away. But his enemy was aware of this as well, and was careful not to overextend itself. It was clearly not swinging as hard as it could, but one hit would stun well enough, allowing a death blow to follow immediately thereafter.

Still Inuyasha continued to dodge, not wanting to risk counterattacking with his claws now that he knew this bastard could regenerate. One misstep now could mean the end of him. But after a minute or two of this monotony, he decided to try something different. He leapt back out of range, then turned and bolted in the opposite direction, encouraging the creature to follow him, which it did. After a few long strides, Inuyasha leapt and planted his feet against a tree, intending to launch himself off of it and use the sudden change of direction to surprise his enemy and get past it to Tetsusaiga. It probably would have worked too, if the damn tree had not been so weak. Oh, it seemed perfectly normal on the outside, a young tree growing toward maturity. But on the inside, it had been eaten away by insects of some kind, deteriorating its structural integrity. Thus, when a hanyou moving at great speed tried to use it as a springboard, said hanyou's momentum cracked the trunk near the base. As a result, the springboard gave way, and the hanyou's powerful leap was reduced to a feeble flop.

As soon as Inuyasha heard that snap and felt the tree give way under his feet, he knew he was in trouble. Much of the mighty thrust of his legs was spent in pushing the tree over, rather than launching himself off of a stable platform. As he plummeted to the ground in a short arc, he saw his enemy closing in. He dove to the side as soon as his toes touched the ground, but the massive hand still caught him with a glancing blow, one of the claws raking a deep gouge in his back. He flew through the air until he struck another tree, this one unfortunately much sturdier than the last. He sank to the ground on unsteady feet, supporting himself against the trunk and shaking his head to clear it. Through blurred vision he saw the creature's closed fist approaching impossibly fast, obviously intended to leave him as nothing more than a dark red stain on the bark. Inuyasha gritted his teeth and raised his claws. It was time to see which was stronger—this creature's flesh and bone, or Sankon Tetsusou.

Perhaps fortunately, the opportunity to find out was averted at the last moment. The creature suddenly cried out in agony, and its fist vanished from view. Now seeing the world clearly again, Inuyasha once more glimpsed hiraikotsu returning to its owner, now soaring above on her fire-cat companion. Their enemy was crouched on one knee, facing away from the taijiya and perpendicularly to Inuyasha, holding its hand over its eye. The hanyou was simultaneously grateful and impressed. To hit a moving target in a very small vulnerable area required an excellent shot. The eye itself would probably regenerate, but striking it there might have been the only way to get this thing to actually react to an injury. It didn't even seem to feel attacks directed at the rest of its body.

"Inuyasha, are you okay?!" Sango called down to him. He started to wave to her in the affirmative, but movement off to his right drew his attention. The creature had wrapped both enormous hands around the tree he had cracked earlier. From her vantage point, Sango could not possibly see what it was doing, which Inuyasha knew was extremely dangerous as soon as he deduced his opponent's intentions.

"Sango, look o—"

But it was too late to warn her, as the creature spun and flung the tree through the air with all of its considerable might. Kirara's quick reflexes allowed her to dodge the trunk, but she could not completely avoid all of the smaller branches and leaves, which tore at her fur and tangled around her. Sango, already thrown off balance by her companion's sudden dodge, could not hold on as the passing tree pulled Kirara back. The fire-cat freed herself, leaving chunks of skin and fur behind, but not in time to save Sango as she plummeted toward the ground. Fortunately, Inuyasha had already set himself in motion, anticipating that something like this might happen. He caught Sango easily and set her on her feet.

"Go!" he told her, shoving her toward where hiraikotsu lay in the grass several meters away. Mostly he just wanted her away from the battlefield. She could reenter the fray if she wanted to, after she had recollected hiraikotsu and checked on Kirara. A quick glance assured him that Miroku, Shippou, and Kagome had also managed to escape the careening piece of timber. The twigs and leaves stuck to the monk's clothing indicated that it had been a close shave for him. He had probably rushed in when he saw Sango in peril, and been left directly in the tree's path once its trajectory descended. Kagome and Shippou had been far enough back so that getting out of the way was relatively easy for them.

Even so, the two near misses pissed Inuyasha off. He rounded on the enemy, glaring and growling. The creature did not seem pleased either, probably from having its eye pulverized by hiraikotsu. It had indeed healed, but it still must have hurt like a son of a bitch. Both antagonists comprehended the situation at the same time. Their positions had shifted during the battle, taking them away from Tetsusaiga and leaving both at approximately equal distances from it. Their eyes met once, and then the race was on. Inuyasha was just a fraction of a second quicker on the takeoff this time. But that advantage did not guarantee that he would win the prize. His opponent's attack range was obviously much greater than his own. And as they converged inexorably to a single point, he prepared himself for a strike.

His foresight was rewarded; for once, the creature behaved exactly as predicted, sending a backhand swipe his way as soon as he was within range. Inuyasha planted his foot and leapt inside the radius of the swing, once again severing hand from arm, this time with Sankon Tetsusou. Continuing on his course, he did the same to a massive leg, leaving his enemy stumbling to a halt. Yes, it could reattach the limb, but it would be hobbled for a few crucial moments. That was all the time Inuyasha needed to reach Tetsusaiga. With a mighty cry he spun and unleased the Kaze no Kizu. At such short distance, the result was never in doubt. Blades of youki tore through muscle and bone, rending flesh and scattering the creature into hundreds of bloody pieces.

But Inuyasha did not allow himself to enjoy his victory just yet. He watched and waited to see if this thing could still pull itself back together from such a dismembered state. The first sign of movement was a twitch by the left half of the lower jaw, which had been separated from the rest of the face. The face…most of the head was still intact, Inuyasha saw. And those eyes were far from lifeless. Sure enough, the disparate pieces of the creature's body began to converge with an ominous radiance, pulled inexorably toward the head. So that was the focal point of this thing's regeneration ability, rather than the heart. That was useful information, but Inuyasha still found himself stumped by this turn of events. Everything about this thing screamed corpse reanimated by a shard of the Shikon no Tama. He trusted Kagome when she said there was no jewel shard involved, but everyone made mistakes sometimes.

And how would they destroy it, with Tetsusaiga ineffective? The obvious answer was Miroku's kazaana, but that course posed dangers as well. If Kagome was wrong, and there really was a jewel shard inside this youkai's head, what would happen if the monk tried to suck it up? He doubted a piece of the Shikon no Tama would simply fall quietly into the void. Something would happen, and it would not be good for Miroku. And even if Miroku could suck in a shard, how would they ever accomplish their mission of completing the Shikon no Tama then? Still, there had to be a way to use the kazaana to defeat this bastard. Inuyasha grinned as the answer came to him.

"Miroku!" he called. "When I tell you to, open your kazaana." He heard footsteps coming closer, meaning the monk was getting into position.

By this time, the creature had nearly fully reformed. It saw Inuyasha raise his sword, and knew what was about to happen. In desperation it flung its left hand, which had yet to reattach, toward the hanyou. The tactic worked, as Inuyasha was forced to sidestep before he could launch another Kaze no Kizu. In the single second it took him to set his feet again, the creature was on the move. Inuyasha paused mid-swing as his opponent placed itself between him and Sango and Miroku, knowing that the hanyou would not use that attack again with his friends in the line of fire. But the monk and taijiya were not the creature's targets this time. When Inuyasha saw who its fury was focused upon now, he felt his blood run cold.

"Kagome, run!"

But she was not running. Instead, he watched in horror as she drew an arrow from her quiver. _Dammit, wench!_ How could she even be sure that her arrow would stop this bastard? If it was really a reanimated corpse, it stood to reason that a surge of pure energy would do _something._ But would the arrow purify it like a youkai? If not, would the resulting damage be enough to stop the creature in its tracks? The uncertainty caused Inuyasha to slide into a state of near panic. But there was nothing he could do; he clearly was not going to make it to Kagome in time to save her, and he could not use the Kaze no Kizu for fear of accidentally hitting her. His mad dash to reach her was further slowed when the creature's left hand nearly took his head off returning to its body. All he could do was resume his desperate sprint, careful to give Kagome a clear shot with her arrow. That, and pray.

His prayers were answered. Kagome notched the arrow, drew and aimed all without the slightest falter. She had ample time to charge the projectile and release it before the creature was upon her. But from this moment of optimism, things went horribly wrong. Kagome's eyes widened, as if she was some virgin to combat losing her nerve completely. The arrow slipped from her grasp, the bow lowering to her side. She stared at her right hand, her gaze unfocused, as if she was not even aware of the towering mass of muscle and savagery bearing down on her. The creature's hand reached for her; no doubt its intention was to devour her and her jewel shards whole, in one massive bite. Inuyasha's heart stopped, his own arms reaching out for her helplessly. If there was anything he could have done to save her life, including sacrificing his own, he would have done it. In that moment when it appeared he was going to lose the one person who made his life worth living, he knew true despair.

Salvation came in an unexpected form. A large, googly-eyed pink balloon appeared in a puff of smoke, a child's high-pitched cry emanating as it smashed into the huge outstretched arm. The force of the impact was just enough to knock the appendage off of its intended course. Instead of grabbing Kagome, the questing digits just barely missed her, the pressure wave ruffling her clothing like the passage of a high-speed train. In frustration, the creature swatted the balloon away. Fortunately for Shippou, he was still viewed as more of an annoyance than a threat. But the kit's bravery had bought Inuyasha the time he needed to catch up. The hanyou did not even have to alter his course to snatch the fox out of mid-air. And by the time the creature made another grab for Kagome, she was no longer there, borne away instead to safety.

Inuyasha set her down a hundred yards away from the spot where her life had almost ended. She still looked like she had no idea what was going on, but he would deal with that later. Right now, he had a battle to finish. The enemy was charging toward them, its massive footfalls sending vibrations through the earth. Sango and Miroku were hot on its heels atop Kirara. As for Shippou, Inuyasha deposited him atop his own shoulder. The dizzy fox kit had earned the right to be a part of this. Satisfied that Shippou had a good grip on his haori, he turned to face the enemy.

"Nice work, Shippou," he declared sincerely. "But we'll take it from here!"

The Kaze no Kizu Inuyasha unleased was larger and more ferocious than the first, and it sliced the creature into twice as many pieces. But even so, it refused to die; already the head was reforming. Inuyasha leapt into the midst of the carnage, snatching the severed head with one hand and carrying it away from the rest of the body. The bloody pieces started to pursue him, but it was too late.

"Now, Miroku!" he yelled as he passed under Kirara. The monk did not need to be told twice. Within a matter of moments, nothing remained of the creature's once formidable body, courtesy of the kazaana. And that infuriating sneer finally vanished for good.

"No, my body!" it cried pitifully. "My body! Give it back, give it back, give it ba—"

"Shut up!"

Inuyasha punctuated his demand by smashing the head against the ground, feeling a perverse satisfaction at the telltale snapping of its mandible. No doubt that would heal, but at least it would buy them a few moments of peace. At the very least, it should not be able to recall its body back from the abyss. Now, they could get to the bottom of this bothersome regeneration ability. But first, he had something important to check on.

He approached Kagome intending to first inquire as to her well-being, before reaming her out for nearly getting herself killed. But the faint smell of her blood blew away any self-restraint he might have possessed. He could see the cut from here, just a small scratch on her forearm from where the creature's claw had grazed her. But it really brought home the reality of how close he had come to losing her. A few centimeters deeper, and they would be scrambling to try to prevent her from bleeding to death right now. A fraction of a meter deeper still, and she would already be dead. And all because she been so fucking _stupid._ All because she hadn't fucking listened to him.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking, Kagome!" he bellowed harshly. Finally she started, emerging from her stupor and meeting his irate gaze with wide, shocked eyes. If anything, this only made him angrier.

"Dammit, wench! You're fucking helpless enough when you're actually paying attention. Don't try to fight if you can't even keep your head on straight!"

Now, there were several ways in which Kagome could react to this. She could get pissed at him, and the resulting massive argument would likely end with him eating dirt. She could try to calmly explain why she had frozen up, attempting to keep her cool because she knew he was in the right. Least likely of all, she could apologize and take his criticism contritely. He did not, however, expect her eyes to suddenly tear up. The hardening of her gaze caught him completely by surprise, despair swirling with righteous fury in her chocolate pools. The anger he expected, but not this sort of raw, unfettered rage, fueled by desperation. It caused him to recoil, to open his mouth to attempt to retract some of his harsher words. But it was far too late for that.

"Well, Inuyasha, I'm sorry I'm so _helpless_ and useless and every other insult you've ever thrown my way! I'm sorry I'm not _perfect_ like Kikyou!"

"Kag—" he tried, but she cut him off.

"No, you know what? I'm done!" She sobbed and shook her head, her tears spilling onto her clothes. "I'm done," she repeated quietly, gritting her teeth.

"K-Kagome, I didn't—"

"Osuwari!"

*Thud*

"Osuwari! Osuwari! OSUWARI!"

*Thud Thud THUD*

Moments later, Inuyasha sat up with a groan, holding his aching head. His ears told him that Kagome was already gone. Sango had chased after her, so at least her epic storm-off hadn't left her completely unprotected. He was now even more concerned about her state of mind than he had been after her colossal slip-up. Just what the _hell_ was all that about? Maybe his words had been crueler than they needed to be, but his anger was fully justified. He would dare anyone to say otherwise. And why the hell did she bring up Kikyou's name? She _never_ brought up Kikyou, for anything. What the fuck did Kikyou have to do with this?! And what did she mean by 'I'm done?' Done with what? Done being a miko? Done shard hunting? Done…with him?

A soft moan from below him broke his gloomy train of thought. Inuyasha couldn't help but crack a small grin at the sight. Shippou had clearly not managed to remove himself from the danger zone before Kagome said 'the word.' The kit had experienced the 'osuwari' command for the first time, and obviously not enjoyed it. Inuyasha had not landed on him, but his rapid descent to the dirt had propelled Shippou into a nice face-plant of his own.

"Ow…" came kit's muffled voice.

"Heh. Hurts, don't it, runt?" Nevertheless, Inuyasha gingerly peeled Shippou from his tiny crater and placed the kit on his shoulder once more.

"You okay?" he asked, more referring to the battle than the 'osuwari.' Shippou shook his head, and Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Well, is anything broken?"

Shippou flexed his arms and legs, then gave the answer Inuyasha already suspected. "I don't think so."

"Then you'll be fine by morning," he declared, reaching up and ruffling the kid's hair affectionately. "You're pretty tough, for a little squirt."

Shippou could only sputter incoherently at the praise, and try not to let Inuyasha know how much it mean to him. The two of them often did not get along, but obviously the hanyou was seeing him in a new light. If this was the treatment he was going to get, he would have to save Kagome's life more often. He did hope that she would not _need_ saving in the future, but somehow that never seemed to be the case.

"Oi, Shippou," the hanyou said suddenly, his tone serious. "You have any idea why Kagome got so pissed?"

"No," was the kit's immediate reply. "You were just being your usual self."

In the past, Inuyasha might have taken offense to that statement, but it was completely true. Under normal circumstances, Kagome could see through at least some of his gruffness and insults, and not blow a stack when he called her helpless. She would understand that he was only mean to her because he had been worried about her. She would certainly not react in the way she had this afternoon, which was way over the top. It comforted him to know that Shippou felt the same way, but it also brought him no closer to solving the mystery. Fortunately, he had another friend who was more observant than both of them.

"I believe I may be able to provide some insight," Miroku stated quietly. His tone immediately put Inuyasha on edge; more than anything, the monk seemed sad.

"Well, out with it!" the hanyou demanded impatiently.

Miroku sighed. "Did you see what happened, Inuyasha?"

"Of course I did. She went to fire an arrow, then totally spaced out and dropped it. The baka would've gotten herself killed if it wasn't for Shippou."

"That's all elementary, Inuyasha. I mean, did you see why she 'spaced out,' as you put it?"

"Obviously, I didn't. Can you just fucking spit it out, bouzu? I ain't got all day."

Miroku glared at him, but continued anyway. "Kagome-sama tried to charge the arrow with pure energy as she always does, but was unable to do so."

Inuyasha's lungs seized up, unable to draw breath. He gazed helplessly at Miroku, silently pleading for confirmation that he'd just misheard him. But the monk only regarded him calmly, with suddenly sympathetic eyes. Then he uttered the words Inuyasha least wanted to hear.

"She has lost her spiritual power, Inuyasha."

The hanyou clenched his hand into a fist and pounded it into the dirt. It all made sense now—the shock on her face, the way she stared blankly at her empty hand, and her fierce response to his words.

"How?" he choked out through gritted teeth, though he already knew the answer.

"From losing her virginity, I assume," Miroku answered simply, though there was a hint of confusion in his tone. Inuyasha latched on to that, redirecting his fury. With all of the guilt and bewilderment and anger churning inside him, it was nice to have a convenient outlet.

"Why the fuck didn't you say anything before?!" he demanded, rising to his feet and pointing an accusing finger at Miroku. "You knew this could happen!"

"We _all_ knew this could happen, Inuyasha," Miroku responded firmly, unwilling to sit back and take the hanyou's unjustified ire. "_You_ were the one who spoke to her about that night, so I assumed that you discussed it with her."

Seeing the hanyou's ears droop, Miroku took a deep breath and composed himself. He knew where Inuyasha was coming from; if he had lain with a woman and made her lose part of herself, other than her physical virginity, then he was sure he would feel incredibly guilty as well. In this case, Inuyasha really didn't deserve his own condemnation.

"I honestly never expected this to happen, Inuyasha," he told the hanyou. "Before I met you and Kagome-sama, I too subscribed to the commonly-held belief that a miko must remain physically pure to maintain her spiritual power. But traveling with the two of you, and getting to know Kagome-sama, have enlightened me as to what I now believe to be the truth. Purity comes in many forms; the corporeal body can be but one vassal. But emotional and spiritual purity, I believe, are much more important indicators. Kagome-sama has always been the purest person I have ever met, in all three respects. Now, this is no longer the case for one of them. But her heart and soul have not changed. I cannot make sense of a world where a good, kind-hearted woman loses her spiritual power simply because she lies with a man."

It occurred to Miroku that the words he had just uttered would be considered heresy by some, perhaps even a majority of the population. But the widely-accepted worldview was not logically sound. Why should monks be allowed to marry and have children, while miko must never know physical intimacy? Sex could in itself be an act of absolute purity when enjoyed by two people who loved each other, as Kagome and Inuyasha did. Miroku himself was no virgin, but his own spiritual power had never weakened even though he had slept with several women he had never seen afterwards. Surely the Kami would not condone such a perverse double standard.

The more he considered it, the more he thought that the common belief had originally arisen to prevent youkai-stricken human populations from losing invaluable miko. It was not the act of making love that could cause a miko to lose her abilities, but what could follow. Nothing could ruin a heart or blacken a soul like love gone bad. Even the untimely death of a husband or child could send a person spiraling into despair. And unlike loss of physical purity, such emotionally destructive changes would logically have in impact on spiritual power. Perhaps people thought that women of holy ability would be unable to handle all of the highs and lows which came with love and parenthood. Men, on the other hand, could weather stronger emotional storms because they were naturally more level-headed and intelligent. That was a load of rubbish, but then so were a lot of things people believed.

So things were relatively straight in Miroku's head, though he hoped he would not have to explain his belief to Inuyasha in great detail. Fortunately, the hanyou seemed more interested in the implications rather than his reasoning.

"So then why did she lose her power?" he asked, his tone noticeably calmer than before.

"There must be some other explanation," Miroku told him. "Unfortunately, I have no theories at this time."

Inuyasha grimaced, but didn't say anything in response. He stared off into space, clearly trying to come up with a theory of his own, one which would unquestionably relieve much of his guilt. But Miroku knew this was futile; emotions were too raw, anger and hurt too fresh. They needed time to calm down and think about this logically, detached from emotion. And that was not going to happen until Inuyasha and Kagome had once again talked things out. Now, how to convince the stubborn hanyou that such a discussion was necessary…

"It was not exactly the best time to call Kagome-sama 'helpless,' my friend," Miroku observed, careful to keep his voice devoid of censure.

Inuyasha reacted defensively as anticipated. "W-w-well I didn't fucking know!" he sputtered.

"I am aware of that, Inuyasha," Miroku replied patiently. "But you still must make this right. You must apologize to Kagome-sama."

"Why the hell should I? She's the one who overreacted!"

"Perhaps that is true, but it makes no difference. She would not have 'overreacted' if you had not insulted her in the first place."

Inuyasha grumbled, but he couldn't really argue the point. He was about to mutter something petulant when shouting from across the battlefield drew everyone's attention.

"Oi, what are you doing?! No! Don't take—aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Shit!" Inuyasha cursed, sprinting toward where the forgotten creature's severed head lay in the dirt. As he watched, the flesh disintegrated leaving nothing but bones. The reason for this was the saimyoushou rapidly gaining altitude overhead, carrying a tiny glimmering object which could only be a shard of the Shikon no Tama. He continued his pursuit until the insect rose above the tree line, painfully out of reach.

"Dammit!" he cried, furious that Naraku's servant had gotten away with the prize. Kirara had gone after Kagome and Sango, and on foot he simply couldn't keep up. The saimyoushou had waited until they were suitably distracted before making its move, reclaiming the jewel shard its master had obviously provided. Worse than that, it had eliminated their opportunity to question the creature and perhaps get some answers as to its identity and Naraku's location. All they had to go by now was the fact that it had approached from out of the north.

"So it seems you were right to suspect that the creature we fought had a shard of the Shikon no Tama in its possession," Miroku observed gravely as he approached. "Kagome-sama must have lost her ability to sense the jewel as well."

"Great, just fucking great. This shit keeps getting better and better."

Miroku sighed. "It would be wise to change your attitude before you talk to her."

"Keh."

"Oh, don't be so negative, Inuyasha. Losing Kagome-sama's spiritual power hurts us, but we will adjust. On the bright side, this is the first lead we've had on Naraku's location since he disappeared. We shall simply have to travel north and see what we can find."

Inuyasha felt his resolve returning, and pounded his fist into his palm. Miroku was right—they would adjust. Just as they would adjust if Tetsusaiga broke again or the bouzu found a way to cure his kazaana. Most importantly, they would stick together and continue on their mission.

"Yeah, and if there are any more of those undead bastards running around, I'll wipe 'em all out."

"I would not be surprised if there were. Naraku seldom does things small."

That comment reminded Inuyasha of one 'small' thing Naraku had done. "Oi, do you think that bastard really ate Kohaku?"

Miroku considered that for a moment. "The saimyoushou was only carrying one Shikon fragment, correct?"

"Yeah, just one."

"Then I doubt Kohaku is dead. If the creature had eaten him, it would have had another shard, most likely in its belly. And if I had sucked in a piece of the Shikon no Tama, I would probably be dead right now."

Inuyasha nodded, relieved that at least Sango would not have to deal with her brother's death. They had enough problems at present, and he honestly hoped the boy could be saved in the end. Speaking of problems…

"So Inuyasha, shall we?" Miroku asked innocently, failing to hide his amusement. He motioned in the direction where Kagome and Sango had run off to.

Inuyasha glared at him. "You just don't give up, do you?"

Miroku regarded him seriously. "No, not for something like this."

"Keh."

"Relax, my friend. I am sure Kagome-sama will not hold it against you. She probably feels badly for using the subduing spell so many times."

"Keh, not fucking likely," Inuyasha muttered, but his eyes spoke of cautious hope so Miroku let the remark go.

After a few more moments of hesitation, our reluctant hanyou set off. He was absolutely not looking forward to facing Kagome again, but the bouzu was right—it had to be done. He just hoped Miroku was also correct about there being another explanation for the loss of Kagome's spiritual power. If this was not something they could remedy, then they were about to face a whole host of problems. Kagome's miko abilities were a crucial part of their group's offensive and defensive fighting strength, never mind the obvious emotional effects losing them was already having on her.

Who knew one night of drunken foolishness could have such severe consequences?

* * *

A/N – In case you haven't guessed it, that creature was Kyoukotsu of the Band of Seven. A large portion of this story will revolve around a modified Band of Seven arc. Instead of creating my own villains, I decided to play with the ones that Rumiko Takahashi already created. They are freaking awesome, after all. The characters will be the same, but the plot will be significantly different, as we've already seen.

And I know that Kyoukotsu was a relative pushover in canon, but that's only because he blabbed about the location of his jewel shard. So Kouga was able to yank the shard out and kill him just before being devoured. Without that knowledge, wolf-boy probably ends up as a furry turd-pile on the ground. Since the Inu-gang has no idea of the location of the shard (or even if Kyoukotsu has one), he'd naturally be a more difficult opponent for them.


	5. Make-ups and Missed Opportunities

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I'm just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I've created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.

Make-ups and Missed Opportunities

"Kagome-chan, wait up!"

But Kagome did not want to wait. If she slowed her pace by even an infinitesimal amount, her fragile resolve to hold herself together would dissipate, and she would collapse into an inconsolable girl-shaped blob. So she kept marching forward, ignoring Sango's pleas. Part of her just wanted to be held right now, but she had to be strong about this, didn't she? If she surrendered to her friend's comfort, it would only prove that she was as weak and useless as everyone secretly thought. In her mind's eye, Inuyasha's visage twisted, shifting from concerned anger to a cruel, taunting sneer.

"_Damn, bitch,"_ he stated derisively, eyeing her with contempt. _"You were helpless enough as a miko. Now what the hell good are you?"_

The visions continued. Miroku, Sango, and Shippou were kinder about it, but in the end they all agreed. She was dead weight, and could no longer travel with them. She slowed them down and could now contribute nothing to the group. She was to be left in her own time, never to return. Her friends would seek out Kikyou to help them complete their mission, and when the Shikon no Tama was banished from this world, she and Inuyasha would journey to hell together. And as they sank into the earth, they would share a sweet kiss, and Inuyasha would smile…

An unfortunately-placed tree root caught her foot and jolted her back to the present, as well as sending sent her sprawling face-first into the leaf litter. Her knee stung where it had scraped against a stone on, and her palms were chafed from breaking her fall. She cared about none of this. All she knew was that she lacked the willpower to rise to her feet again. Finally, she gave into the despair welling up inside her, curling onto her side and weeping bitterly.

This was the sight which greeted Sango when she caught up a few moments later. Initially, the taijiya could only stare in shock; in all the time she had known Kagome, she had never seen the younger girl cry anywhere near this uncontrollably. It reminded her of the time soon after the battle inside Naraku's castle, when she had stolen Tetsusaiga and tried unsuccessfully to kill the dark hanyou. At that time, her emotions had been so disjointed, her grief so palpable, that she had been ready to burst at any moment. The revelation that Kagome and the others still wanted her to travel with them was the tipping point, and she had given in to her tears and the miko's comforting embrace. The funny thing was that she hadn't really felt much shame for her pitiful display afterwards, despite her warrior's upbringing. She had known then that these people would become more than just traveling companions. True to her prediction, all of them were now the closest of friends. And one of them was hurting. Sango had no idea what had caused Kagome so much anguish, but she would do what she could to console her.

Kagome dimly felt warm arms come to rest around her shoulders, and allowed herself to fall into them without resistance. And when a small furry creature nuzzled close and began licking her face, she took it into her arms and squeezed it like a lifeline. Kirara could probably not breathe properly, but she made no sound of complaint. And so, cossetted and comforted, Kagome finally began the long and arduous process of pulling herself back together.

The astonishment at losing her spiritual power had still held her in its icy grip when Inuyasha started yelling at her. And when the word 'helpless' passed his lips, something inside her snapped. She had always taken pride in the fact that she was a miko. Perhaps she was not as skilled or well-trained as Kikyou, but in terms of raw power she could _compare_. Even if she was inferior to Kikyou in every other way, no one could say that she was weaker in this one regard. She was not completely useless, and had in fact saved the lives of all of her friends on several occasions. But that word, spoken in that furious tone…it had made her realize exactly what she was without her power. A clumsy, useless girl devoid any special characteristics to speak of. A burden.

She had lashed out defensively then, taken her despair and turned it into a weapon, directed at the man who had made her feel so heartbroken. A man who, in retrospect, had not deserved her ire. He certainly had not deserved to be subdued four times. This realization only made Kagome feel worse, if that was possible. As she accessed her memory, she finally saw Inuyasha's outburst for what it was—the angry reproach of a man who had been extremely worried about her, and had used rudeness to try to conceal his concern. As he always did. He probably had not even comprehended the loss of her power yet.

Kagome suddenly felt incredibly foolish for her behavior. Now that the shock of her discovery was wearing off, and she was thinking clearly again, she looked back on her panic-clouded thoughts with disbelief. Even in his cruelest moments, Inuyasha never turned into the evil bastard she had conjured up. He didn't measure a person's worth solely by strength or fighting ability. That was how full-youkai Inuyasha viewed the world, but the hanyou was much deeper and more compassionate. And had she really thrown Kikyou in his face? She groaned mentally. Bringing up their greatest shared insecurity in the midst of an argument had not been smart. But it had also been no less intelligent than the rest of her actions.

She did stand by one thing, however—she really was useless now. This changed everything; now, no one could fire purifying arrows or more importantly, detect the Shikon no Tama. Miroku could take over the spiritual duties, but the ability to sense shards was essential to their mission. One by one, her friends would arrive at the same conclusion—that all of them would be better off if she stayed behind on her side of the well from now on. Oh, they would send Inuyasha to retrieve her when they returned to the village, and they would all remain friends, but they would never let her travel with them again. The reason would _not_ be because she was useless. The prohibition would instead likely arise out of concern, whether because she could no longer defend herself in the slightest, or because they needed Kikyou's help to complete the mission and didn't want to put her through that. But her banishment would come all the same, whether any of them, including Inuyasha, really wanted to replace her with Kikyou or not. Simply put, they had no choice; it was the only option left open to them.

So despite the fact that the end result would be the same, she still felt bad for taking her misery out on Inuyasha. He had never seemed particularly eager to ditch her in favor of Kikyou; in fact, she had come to cautiously believe that he preferred her company most of the time. But again, he had no choice. Kikyou was the only other person they knew of who could sense the Shikon no Tama. And she could not fault him for setting off down a path which fate had already dictated for him. Just as she would not blame him for taking her virginity that night, the obvious cause of the loss of her miko abilities. She bore a greater share of the responsibility for their tryst and all of its consequences. And when the time came for Kikyou to take her place as the miko of their group, she would do her best to smile and see them off. Because there was nothing for him to apologize for, nothing for her to forgive. Above all else, she hoped they could remain friends.

These thoughts, while somewhat uplifting, did not make Kagome feel much better. Her tears did wind down, however, until finally she was just lying limp in her friend's embrace, mentally drained. After a time, Sango pulled back and helped Kagome settle with her back against a tree so they could talk. The former miko kept her gaze downcast, refusing to make eye contact, though she did continue petting Kirara in her lap. Sango felt her concern deepen; Kagome looked utterly defeated, as if she had given up on something very important to her. She had to get to the bottom of this.

"Kagome-chan, what on earth is the matter?" she asked urgently, though still managing to keep her tone fairly mild.

Kagome shook her head. "Ask Miroku-sama. I'm sure he figured out what happened."

Sango gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain calm. Part of her wanted to smack Kagome and tell her to snap out of it, but she didn't think tough love was the right way to approach this. Whatever was going on inside that pretty little head of hers, Kagome thought she knew exactly how everyone would react once they found out what had happened back at the battle. And it wasn't good. But that was foolish; it couldn't be anything that would jeopardize their friendship, right?

"I'm asking you, Kagome-chan. Tell me what's bothering you. Please," she added, not caring that she was practically begging. Kagome heaved a long-suffering sigh, but she did finally meet Sango's gaze.

"When I went to fire that arrow, I discovered that I couldn't use spiritual energy anymore." With an emotionally detached air, she removed the bottle of shards from around her neck, holding them out in front of her. Then she casually tossed the bottle to the shocked taijiya, who barely caught it.

"I can't even sense those damn shards anymore," Kagome declared quietly, once again taking to staring at the ground.

"Kagome-chan…" Sango breathed, wanting to say something but having no idea as to what.

"It's okay, Sango-chan," Kagome assured, mustering a painfully fake smile. "We both know what has to happen now. I've made peace with it."

And instantly, Sango knew what had her friend so upset. She had been partially wrong; this would not jeopardize their friendship, but it would threaten everything else about Kagome's relationship with the group. Or so the miko obviously thought. Her initial reaction was to take offense that the woman she considered a surrogate sister would think so little of her. But that wasn't fair to Kagome, who was likely drawing much of her angst from a very complicated relationship with a certain hanyou. Still, she should have known better. She was thinking so selflessly right now that she drastically underestimated her own worth. It was a misunderstanding that required immediate correction.

"And now you think that you can't travel with us anymore," Sango stated, this time not restraining the censure in her tone. Kagome could be left with no doubt as to what the taijiya thought of her cockamamie ideas.

The former miko blinked in surprise, then rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Think about it, Sango-chan. What am I going to do now, beat youkai to death with my bow?"

"You don't have to do anything. Just let me and Inuyasha handle the fighting."

"Tch. Yeah, that's real helpful. 'Kagome, you just sit back and do nothing while we risk our necks.' Face it, Sango-chan, I'm just dead weight now."

"You are _not_ dead weight!"

Sango's irate response caused Kagome to swallow her next words. For half a second, she feared that the older woman was about to slap her. But Sango clenched her first and took a deep breath, then spoke in a low, fierce tone which carried the full force of her conviction.

"Kagome-chan, whether you realize it or not, all of us need you. Who does Shippou turn to whenever he has a problem? You're the only one he really looks up to as family. And I—what would I do without you? You're like a sister to me. Who else can I talk about Houshi-sama with? Shippou's too young and talking to Inuyasha about anything emotional is like conversing with a stone. And forget about Inuyasha. He's a wreck when you go to your time for a few _days_. He'd probably sink into depression or lose his bloody mind if he had to leave you for any longer."

Warmth bubbled in Kagome's heart at her friend's words, but she did her best to quash it. Sweet words were nice, but reality was sour, and Sango evidently hadn't tasted it yet.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"No, I'm not! It's true, and you damn well know it!"

"It doesn't matter," Kagome declared, tired of the argument. "Even if you guys do need me, you need someone who can sense the Shikon no Tama even more. If that's not me, it has to be Kik—"

"Don't say it!" Sango interrupted, but Kagome was not backing down on this.

"It's _Kikyou_, Sango-chan. You need to get Kikyou to join you. Only she can do what needs to be done. I can't help you anymore, and I can't travel with her. I won't put Inuyasha through that. It…has to be this way."

Sango shook her head in disbelief. How could such an intelligent person be so wrong?

"Kagome-chan, do you honestly believe that Inuyasha is capable of letting you go?"

"He did before," Kagome replied, knowing Sango would understand what she was referring to. One evening in a hot spring, she had told the taijiya about how Inuyasha had sent her home and sealed the well after his second battle with Sesshoumaru.

"Before, he wasn't in love with you," Sango retorted.

"Inuyasha's not in love with me," Kagome told her dejectedly. "That's just wishful thinking."

"It's not! Trust me, Kagome-chan, he loves you even though he doesn't realize it. I see him when he's with you, and when you're gone. There's no doubt in my mind. So even if he wanted to replace you with Kikyou—which he doesn't—he wouldn't be able to. He's not going to let you go. He needs you more than anyone."

Kagome gazed into Sango's eyes, searching for any sign of uncertainty. She found none. Her friend honestly believed everything she was saying. It was incomprehensible to her, that the woman she trusted with her closest secrets could have such a different opinion of her circumstances. Did she dare to hope that Sango was right, and she was wrong?

"You…you really believe all that?"

Sango nodded firmly, overjoyed that she was finally getting through to her stubborn friend. She reached over and took both of Kagome's hands in her own, leaning in close.

"Look at me, Kagome-chan. I believe every word from the bottom of my heart."

In the next moment, Sango found a crying former miko wrapped around her shoulders. This time, however, her tears were born of relief and happiness. Sango blinked back a few of her own as she returned the embrace.

"Face it, Kagome-chan," she declared light-heartedly. "You're stuck with us."

Kagome made a noise that was half laugh, half sob. "I was so s-s-scared. I d-don't want to leave."

"Shhh, it's okay. You don't have to. Maybe your power is just dormant. We should ask Kaede-sama about it the next time we return to the village. And if it's gone for good, then we'll figure something out. We always do. The last thing we want to do is replace you. You hold us together, Kagome-chan. Without you, we'd fall apart."

Kagome pulled back and dried her tears. She was absolutely sure that Sango was overstating things, but she appreciated the sentiment. If a battle-hardened taijiya believed that her importance to the group went so far beyond combat prowess as to warrant being lugged around feudal Japan, then it must be so. And if Sango felt this way, then she couldn't imagine Miroku or Shippou having a drastically different view. Inuyasha was the one person she still couldn't figure out. Sango thought he would want her to stay, but then Sango also thought that he was in love with her. So the taijiya's analysis of the hanyou's state of mind was not always right on target. Kagome knew that Inuyasha enjoyed her company, most of the time, but he was also exceedingly concerned with her safety. And if Sango was also wrong about Inuyasha being incapable of letting her go, especially if it was for her own well-being…

Kagome didn't know what she would do if that were the case. What would happen if Inuyasha wanted her to leave but everyone else wanted her to stay? Would she give in? Or would she refuse his demands and deal with the consequences? Either way, their relationship would take a major step back. She would be left with only bad options: stay and have him be angry with her, or leave and surrender him to Kikyou. It was a true no-win situation.

But no, she couldn't think like that. Not yet. Not while she was still unsure of Inuyasha's intentions. Her hanyou had surprised her before; perhaps he really would wish for her to stay. He didn't like it when she fought anyway, much preferring her to stay back and out of harm's way. The only difference was that she would be incapable of protecting herself in an emergency or lending support when needed. Maybe Inuyasha too thought she was crucial enough to the cohesion of their group to ask her to stay. And there was always the slim chance that he needed her as much as Sango believed. If his need for her was even a fraction as compelling as her need for him, then that was a real possibility.

So Kagome resolved to try to remain upbeat about her prospects. Until Inuyasha flat-out told her to go home, she would uneasily assume that he wanted her to stay. Maybe they could talk about it tonight; she already knew that she needed to apologize for subduing him undeservedly. She gulped at the idea of asking him directly, but it was undoubtedly the best way to go. An honest and open conversation had worked wonders after their night of intimacy, and so it could in this situation as well. All she had to do was gather the courage to get said conversation started.

She tried to work on that as she and Sango made their way back to the battlefield, but her mind was finally registering the stinging in her knee and palms, not to mention the cut on her arm, so concentrating was difficult. Any artificial bravery she might have constructed would have been thrown to the winds regardless, as soon as she laid eyes on Inuyasha again. They both froze in mid-step at exactly the same moment. It appeared that he and Miroku had just started on their way to come get them, which made her nervous because she knew exactly what they must have been talking about all this time.

Little did she know that the subject of whether or not she would stay had never come up; the affirmative answer had simply been accepted by both males as a foregone conclusion. Had Kagome been aware of this, it might have saved her and Inuyasha quite a bit of mental anguish.

"Come on, Kagome-chan. Let's get you bandaged up."

Kagome started at Sango's voice, having been caught staring into Inuyasha's golden eyes. They were darkened with remorse but still maintained their shine. What exactly did Inuyasha feel guilty about? With this question dancing upon her consciousness, Kagome broke off her gaze and trudged over to where Sango was kneeling with the first aid kit from her bag. With practiced ease, the taijiya cleaned, disinfected, and bandaged her various cuts and scrapes. It was all fairly unnecessary, with how minor her injuries were, but at least now no dirt would get into the healing tissue. When her friend was done, Kagome continued to sit with her hands folded in her lap, thumbs fidgeting nervously. The uncomfortable atmosphere prevented her from raising her eyes, let alone say anything. She hoped someone else would tell the group what they were going to do next; otherwise, they might be here all night.

Although, maybe the awkwardness was all in her head. Sango stood easily, dusting her hands off as she turned to Inuyasha.

"You're wounded too, right Inuyasha?"

The hanyou seemed surprised by the question, and stuttered before answering. "N-no, it's just a scratch."

"Well, let me take a look at it anyway."

"I said I'm fine, taijiya," he retorted firmly.

"Inuyasha…" Sango ground out, annoyed by his stubbornness. Why did he have to make everything so damn difficult? She opened her mouth to deliver a piece of her mind, but a soft voice cut in first.

"Can I…do it?"

Inuyasha gasped, beyond astounded to hear such an offer. Kagome's head was still downturned, but her eyes panned up to gaze at him shyly. She looked nervous, uncertain that he would accept, and he got the distinct impression that there was something deeper going on here than the fallout from their fight. A feeling reinforced by Sango's glare, which spoke of copious amounts of pain if his answer was not the correct one. Fortunately, he had no thoughts of refusing. If Kagome was willing to start along the path to forgiveness, then so was he.

His short nod earned a timid smile, which caused a light flush to creep along his cheeks for some reason. As he sat in front of her and allowed her to go to work on his back, he realized that this would be different from the other times she had mended his wounds. His disrobing, normally done with calm efficiency, took on a sensual nuance as she ever so slowly drew his robes off his shoulders and down his arms. Her touch was soft, almost reverential, as if savoring the moment. The fleeting sensation of her breath on the back of his neck sent tingles down his spine and caused heat to burgeon in his chest. Whether it was simple happiness or born of something more carnal, he could not say. What he did know with absolute certainty, was that this was the single most intimate moment he had ever enjoyed with someone. Well, at least that he could remember. He couldn't explain why he felt that way; they weren't even hugging, and she had bandaged him up dozens of times. But whether it was something in the air or his mind playing tricks on him, her every innocent touch felt like a sinful caress, her delectable scent setting his olfactory system aflame. His heart raced in his chest, sweat beading on his brow. And yet, he felt no anxiety nor any desire to move away from her. It was as though he belonged here, in this moment, in a way that he had never belonged anywhere else. It felt like home.

She worked in silence, only gasping once when she first saw the injury. He could tell that it was a diagonal slash across his back, perhaps half a meter in length, running from his left shoulder down to his right hip. A serious wound for a human, but not for a hanyou. Nevertheless, he was glad to have it taken care of, if only because of the presence of the girl doing the mending. At last the final bandage was taped into place, and her hands departed from his flesh. He mourned the loss, suddenly aware once again of the unresolved tension, the imperceptible divide between them. His dejection was fleeting. In the next instant, he felt Kagome lean against him, her breasts pressing against his back as she draped her arms loosely around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. It was a gesture of contrition, a wordless plea for forgiveness. It was also incredibly intimate, but that did not bother him in the least. He leaned back just slightly, then grasped her right hand tightly in his own and held it close to his chest. She could probably feel the rapid thumping of his heart.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha," was all she said, but that was all that was needed.

He nodded. "Me too."

He looked over at her, expecting to see a smile, but instead she was biting her lip nervously. It appeared as though she wanted to say something, but was contemplating whether it was wise.

"Kagome?"

Her eyes flicked over to his, then she shook her head and put on a radiant smile which did not seem in the least bit forced. Whatever had been bothering her, she had apparently decided not to bring it up. That was fine with Inuyasha. If it was truly important, he was sure they would end up discussing it eventually. He was in too bright a mood right now to press her on it.

It occurred to him that they had just resolved a major fight with a grand total of five words. That might have seemed impossible before, but not now. He sensed a sort of unspoken communication humming between them. He had never felt so close to her. No matter what obstacles awaited in the future, no matter what evil tried to drive them apart, they would persevere. Together they would destroy Naraku and banish the Shikon no Tama from this world. Together, they could conquer anything. It made little difference whether she was a miko or not, for her true strength lay not spiritual prowess, but in her loving heart, a heart which could make even an orphaned hanyou feel at home. She drove way his loneliness, made his soul feel whole again. He needed her. And in the deepest reaches of his heart, he hoped that they would never be parted.

The sensation of warm breath caressing his lips broke him from his musings. Kagome had moved closer during his distraction. _Much_ closer. Now she gazed at him from a scant distance, her chocolate pools uncertain, seeking permission. He was powerless to deny her. He licked his lips, casting his eyes down to her rosy petals. Subconsciously he shifted closer, his eyes remaining locked with hers as they lazily drifted shut.

"Aack! Miroku, what are you doing?!"

"Be quiet, Shippou. This is not something children should see."

Those voices cascaded over Inuyasha like a bucket of ice water, instantly shattering the cocoon he and Kagome had cast around each other. She pulled back so quickly that she fell flat on her rear end with a muffled thump. Inuyasha clenched his fist, irrationally irate at being interrupted. Had he been in the right frame of mind, he might have wondered why he was so disappointed at not being able to kiss Kagome. But as it was, it was far too easy to give in to fury and leave such difficult questions for another day.

"You bastards…"

Miroku and Shippou took that as their cue to make a hasty exit. Not hasty enough, as it turned out, for both would go to sleep that night with lumps on their heads. And if Shippou had been expecting Kagome to use the 'osuwari' command to rescue him, he was disappointed. All things considered, the two of them had gotten off easy. They should have quietly crept away as soon as things became more intimate, as Sango had done. The taijiya had watched from afar, to be sure, but at least she had not inadvertently stomped all over the moment. Perhaps the lumps would prove a valuable lesson for the future.

Besides, Kagome was more than a little disappointed by the missed opportunity herself.

* * *

Kagome breathed deeply of the crisp, clean air, tilting her head back to bask in the sun's radiant caress. She grinned and sighed in contentment. It had been five days since her and Inuyasha's near kiss, and things had more or less returned to normal. They were journeying north in the hopes of catching wind of Naraku or more shard-animated walking corpses. They'd had no luck in either department so far, but the group seemed to be in good spirits. Nothing else had been said concerning the loss of her miko power, but Kagome took it as a very good sign that they were not heading directly for the well. If Inuyasha intended to make her go home, why would he lead them on this potentially dangerous detour? So now she was fairly certain that the hanyou shared Sango's opinion on the matter. She did, however, wish that she hadn't chickened out the other night when she tried to ask him directly. As a result, the persistent doubt swam continuously in the back of her mind and refused to go away.

She was happy to note that she still retained the group's piece of the Shikon no Tama. Miroku had studied it and declared that he could sense no trace of impurity, so it was decided that it should remain in her care. The monk would keep an eye on it and take it from her if necessary, but all believed that her pure heart would be enough unless an evil force began to work on it actively. So far, that had not occurred. The only time a youkai had attacked, Inuyasha and Sango had gone off to fight, with Miroku standing close by her side with his kazaana at the ready. This was apparently how battles were going to go from now on, by unspoken agreement. It was understood that Miroku was not to leave her side for any reason. In turn, Inuyasha and Sango had appeared to fight more carefully than usual, probably because they did not want to present Miroku with the difficult choice of protecting Kagome or going to their aid. In the end, the youkai had presented little challenge to the taijiya and hanyou. Though Kagome did wonder how well this arrangement would work against stronger opponents.

But that was a worry for another time. For now, she just wanted to enjoy this beautiful day; one never knew when the next one would come along. So she strolled down the path, not really paying attention to anything around her, until the small kitsune boy on her shoulder began to sniff furiously.

"Kagome, you smell different."

Had Kagome been paying attention, she might have noticed the hanyou at the head of the group freeze in his tracks and go rigid, even his ears standing erect. But as it was, she only turned to the young fox and blinked at him.

"Hm? I do?" At Shippou's nod, she queried, "Is it a bad smell?"

He shook his head. "No, it's just…strange."

"Oh. Well, I didn't use a new shampoo or anything. I wonder what it could be?"

"Feh," came Inuyasha's gruff voice. "Any youkai with half a nose could tell you that you smell exactly the same. The runt doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."

Kagome glared at his back, since he hadn't even bothered to turn around to throw insults at Shippou. "Inuyasha! Don't be mean," she ordered, her tone carrying a threat of imminent dirt tasting. "Shippou-chan has a good nose. He just hasn't learned how to use it fully yet. He's just a kid."

"Keh. Even a kid should know how to smell properly. Any time he wants to learn, he can ask me."

Kagome's retort died on her lips as she and Shippou exchanged a look. Had she really heard Inuyasha correctly? Never in a million years would she expect him to offer to teach Shippou anything, let alone how to use his heightened senses. She got the sneaking suspicion that something else was going on here. Inuyasha's offer was too out of the blue, too out of character for him. But she also saw the hopeful light in Shippou's eyes, and knew how much the offer meant to him. If she questioned Inuyasha about his motives, it would be tantamount to looking a gift horse in the mouth. And the opportunity for some quality bonding time between him and Shippou would be lost. So whatever Inuyasha's ulterior motives for this unusually generous proposal, she decided not to press him. As long as he taught Shippou as promised, he could keep his secrets.

"Go ahead, Shippou-chan," she said to the fox kit, who immediately jumped down from her shoulder and ran excitedly ahead to join Inuyasha. Kagome watched them closely, keeping an eye out for any funny business.

"Will you really teach me how to smell?" Shippou asked hopefully as he settled on the hanyou's shoulder.

Inuyasha sighed, not really looking forward to the task but knowing he was stuck. Making that offer had been the only thing he could think of that would get the kit away from Kagome, so the two of them could talk, man to man. A discussion made necessary because the idiot loved to blurt things out without thinking through the implications.

"Will you shut up about Kagome's scent?" Inuyasha demanded quietly, so only the kit would hear.

"Oh, so she—" Shippou began, cutting himself off at the hanyou's glare and continuing in a whisper. "So she _does_ smell different."

"Keh, 'course she does."

"Why?"

"You gonna keep your damn mouth shut this time?"

Shippou nodded vigorously, holding both hands over his lips to show his commitment. Inuyasha sighed again, but there was nothing left to do except confess.

"Kagome's pregnant."

Inuyasha was very glad that Shippou had covered his mouth, or the whole countryside might know by now. As it was, the fox kit was able to contain himself—barely—though his eyes did widen like saucers. Eventually he got over his initial shock and removed his hands.

"From that night at the village?" he asked. Inuyasha glanced at him, wondering how much the kid knew about sex. Apparently enough to realize that it created babies. You know, if the parents were really, _really_ unlucky.

"Must be," he responded noncommittally.

"Wow…that complicates things."

Inuyasha grimaced. _For once, kid, you and I are in complete agreement._

"You know you have to tell her, right?" Shippou inquired dryly, as if speaking to a child.

"Of course I know that!" the hanyou retorted irritably.

"I could tell her for you if you're too much of a coward," the kit teased.

Inuyasha's arm twitched as he fought the urge to reach up and pound a couple lumps into the little snot's conceited skull. But that would only send him running back to Kagome, which would likely result in two things: the 'osuwari' command, and far worse, Kagome learning of her 'condition.' Until he figured out when and how to tell her, he was going to have to be _nice_ to Shippou. And the smug little shit knew it, too.

Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha channeled all of his frustration into a little Shippou figurine he created within his mind. He imagined placing his own special rosary around the haughty little face, then shouting the command over and over again until the runt-shaped crater extended about a kilometer down and the kit had ingested so much dirt that he had worms crawling out his ears. That made him feel much better.

"No," he told the kit, in a tone which indicated that the latter should stop his teasing or risk shattering the hanyou's fragile restraint. "It's my responsibility. I have to tell her."

"So why not just do it now?" Shippou asked, honestly confused.

"I-It's not that simple! Something like this, you have to find the right time. You're just a runt, so you wouldn't understand."

Shippou rolled his eyes. Inuyasha was right; he didn't understand. Why did adults make things so complicated all the time? If you knew something that someone else should really know, then you should just come right out and tell the person. Procrastinating only made things worse.

"Okay," he told Inuyasha uneasily. "Just don't wait too long. You know she'll find out on her own pretty soon."

"Keh. What am I, stupid?"

* * *

**One Week Later**

Kagome knelt in the dirt, retching up her breakfast for the second time in as many days. Yesterday, she had felt more or less fine for the rest of the day, so she thought it was simply a light case of food poisoning. But now it was back, and her initial diagnosis was in doubt. In her experience, food poisoning didn't go away for twenty-four hours and then return with a vengeance. There was something else going on here. As soon as she was done vomiting, she would try to figure out what was wrong with her.

"Sorry, Kagome-chan," Sango said from behind her as she rubbed her back. "You've been sick on two straight mornings. I wonder what kind of sickness that is."

There was something about Sango's statement which caused alarm bells to start ringing in Kagome's head. _Sick on two straight mornings…some kind of sickness…sickness…morning…sickness…_

She sat up suddenly with a gasp. _Oh, no, it can't be that. _Please_ don't let it be that_. But the pieces were falling into place now. Her _sickness_ in the _morning_, her change in scent, how Shippou had never mentioned it again since Inuyasha had talked to him that day, and most damningly, her late period. Now, her period had been late in the past on several occasions, so she hadn't thought much of it this time either. That was the naïve little girl in her, not considering that the explanation this time might be because she had sex with Inuyasha at exactly the _wrong_ time of the month.

Slowly she turned to face the hanyou, whose eyes she was displeased to note were downcast and guilt-ridden. Off to the side, Shippou could be seen shaking his head in exasperation. But Kagome's focus was on Inuyasha, his entire demeanor speaking of a man resigned to his fate. She was petrified to ask the question, but desperation enabled her to push through her fear.

"Inuyasha, am I…p-p—"

"Pregnant?" he supplied, his tone and refusal to make eye contact telling her everything she needed to know.

The bile rose in Kagome's throat once more, and this time when she heaved, a few rogue tears joined the contents of her stomach pouring out onto the grass.

* * *

A/N – Well, there you have it. I know many of you expected this. The original title for this chapter was "Unexpected Discoveries," but that just didn't seem to fit after half of the reviews predicted pregnancy, LOL. I knew it would be hard to make it a surprise, but I'm sure you noticed that I didn't make any mention of possible pregnancy in the previous four chapters. Remember that just because I didn't write about it doesn't mean the characters didn't consider the possibility. They did, but I left it 'off camera.' More explanation next chapter.


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